What about “let’s go to a gay bar because one or more friends in the group is gay, but not everyone is, and we want to have a great time together AND let our friends be themselves in a safe space”?
I don’t know about others, but I cannot be myself in the company of my straight friends. I’d never go to a gay place with them for fun, making myself an accomplice to their “let’s go to the zoo watch the gays” mindset, I’d go to a gay place to get away from them. Straight people have no idea how tiring it is to mask for them. When I’m around people I need at least 4 hours to myself before I can interact with anybody else.
I get it. But if they are your friends, you shouldn’t be masking too hard. Maybe what you call friends, I call acquaintences. “Let’s go to the zoo and watch gays” is not what I was referring to. I’m talking real allies who accept you, not just politely tolerate.
Either way, I get it. It’s great to have a space of your own. Good clubs often have occasional and even regular open nights where it’s more inclusive, without losing the importance of what the space was always meant to be.
What about “let’s go to a gay bar because one or more friends in the group is gay, but not everyone is, and we want to have a great time together AND let our friends be themselves in a safe space”?
I don’t know about others, but I cannot be myself in the company of my straight friends. I’d never go to a gay place with them for fun, making myself an accomplice to their “let’s go to the zoo watch the gays” mindset, I’d go to a gay place to get away from them. Straight people have no idea how tiring it is to mask for them. When I’m around people I need at least 4 hours to myself before I can interact with anybody else.
I get it. But if they are your friends, you shouldn’t be masking too hard. Maybe what you call friends, I call acquaintences. “Let’s go to the zoo and watch gays” is not what I was referring to. I’m talking real allies who accept you, not just politely tolerate.
Either way, I get it. It’s great to have a space of your own. Good clubs often have occasional and even regular open nights where it’s more inclusive, without losing the importance of what the space was always meant to be.
You have every right.