Well, first it’s fire.

Graduate students famously never make mistakes (like including their own hair in samples) and also never smoke weed. So that couldn’t be it.

A redneck missing half his teeth can make meth in a Gatorade bottle in a Wal-Mart bathroom. I could probably figure it out. But that would be pretty bad for my career.

As an actual professional organic chemist, ironically, these make my eyes hurt.