half of the things i want to say (if I’m lucky) because my brain produces an endless torrent of meaningless overshare-y bullshit that I just have to desperately try to keep out of my painstakingly curated conveyor belt of approved remarks that will hopefully not get me in trouble and/or bore people to death

lol people really think they’ll be able to make money off of lemmy posts. lmao

ayyyy that’s my favorite rock. it’s a good’n

movie theaters are fucking bullshit

• can’t pause movie and go pee
• can’t pause movie and discuss something with the person you’re watching with
• can’t rewind when you inevitably zone out so then you just have to not know what the hell happened the past few minutes
• can’t laugh or make jokes too loud or you’re an asshole
• can’t eat or drink anything you actually want to, let alone for a not ridiculous price
• no subtitles
• the first third of the seats cause neck pain if you sit there
• seats usually gross

i am SO thankful i live in an era where i can easily watch movies at home

what’s going on here?

nor should they be piercing blue or green and fuck up the way my room looks in the dark

(at least the angry dishwasher man agrees with me on this)

people who park in the left “lane” of the escalator: jail

people who install a single-wide escalator: death penalty

*raises hand lactose intolerantly* can we make it cost less if we give up the “-milk” label?

that absolutely should not count as milk and I’m upset that I’m now cursed with this knowledge

your paycheck is $5000 because you know COBOL

teleport the poo right outta your colon

do you get their memories with perfect recall? if so i pick that guy who forgot the password to his bitcoin wallet that has like a bajillion dollars worth in it lol

be easily compressed

spinach pkhali!

the traditional way is to blanch the spinach then press out the water, but I would recommend lightly dry frying it in a nonstick pan to get it cooked and slightly dehydrated with minimal nutrient loss

genuinely (and also ulterior-motive-ly) thank you 🥹🫡

TIL:

1. someone coined a name for my extremely specific kink
2. it’s not even the text editor or IDE i like >:(

you’d think this kink would make my dating life easy but I’m a lesbian and there’s still a giant gender gap in coding
(╯°□°）╯︵┻━┻

FUCK. NO TAKE THEM BACK

update: saw some pigeons

I haven’t been leaving my apartment much the past few weeks to be fair

NYC has Henrietta Hudson, Cubbyhole, and Ginger’s

technically only Henrietta is an official lesbian bar, but Cubbyhole and Ginger’s crowds are usually ≥80% lesbians and other queer femmes in my experience