• 0 Posts
  • 28 Comments
Joined 12 days ago
cake
Cake day: August 9th, 2026

help-circle



  • My ex and I were roommates with 3 other people. The others were all gone and we were in my room getting ready, she got up to get lube or a vibrating cock ring or something, I can’t remember. But she left the door open. I’m laying there, dick straight up in the air when her cat jumps on my bed. Whatever, it’ll leave when we get down to business. But no, the cat sneakily crawls between my legs and licks the underside of my helmet. Right where that line of skin is that connects head to shaft. I freaked, cat freaked and ran off, I go soft and the mood is over.

    If you thought a cats tongue was scratchy on your hand…









  • Brussels sprouts. “If you cook them ri” shut the fuck up right now. I’ve tried every single persons “right way” and they’re fucking disgusting. I’m never trying them again. Dog shit wrapped in bacon and dipped in bbq sauce is more likely to enter my mouth than another Brussels sprout ever again.

    Also asparagus… But that’s for a different reason. When I was a kid my stepdad at the time told me of a dream he had where he saw an asparagus growing out of his thigh so he flicked it and rubbed it around and started pulling on it and it kept going and going. Never touched the stuff since.