Before I start a sad story just a bit of context, I live in a very much conservative country. And even though Gay marriages were legalized few years back but still society and all are not very welcoming or even accepting of LGBTQ+ ppl (Don’t go by my username it’s just what fake name generator spat out)
This happened last Saturday night, me and 2 more friends from work decided to go for club. Out of 3 of us me and let’s all him “G” are young and experienced with edibles and can hold our own alcohol. But this third guy lets call him “A” is 10+ years older than us and is married to a woman and has a kid.
So before going to club we take some edibles and i think it was the first time or maybe after a long while he’d been to a good club or whatever reason this guy “A” who usually just drank 1-2 beer drank almost 2 pitchers and few whiskey and cocktails.
Towards the end of night he starts hitting on guys and helps another random guy light a cigarette using his cigarette still in his mouth. And all. Eventually at around 2am club closes and we all leave on the road there’s someone who is playing loud music so “A” goes there starts dancing and few more guys join him. He is flirting with all of them taking there phone numbers and sharing his own. and “G” is trying to stop him because there are cops near by. And then there comes this guy who he shared cigarette with he is yelling A’s name on the street but A is out there sharing his number with others on the road. This guy buys flowers from street vendors/(homeless ppl here who make living by selling random things on road) and he is telling them he is very happy today and pays 100 times more for the flowers (I don’t want to use numbers or currency but due to income inequality this would be just 1-2 days income for the guy but pretty significant amount for street vendors) and I’m trying to stop him and I’m telling him A’s unavailable he’s already married with a kid and all but he is just yelling A’s name with such love that at 1 point I felt like I’m the villain in there story. But eventually he’s friends also show up they get him away. And “G” and I get A into the cab and go home. There he reveals he had done this before as well giving out his number to random men and then blocking them in the morning. (A is also very conservative and any time LGBTQ+ topic came up in discussion he’d say “its a western propaganda”)
I know I deserve to burn in hell for stopping them. But I’m also not sure what was I supposed to do.
Your title grabbed me. I’ve been having a shitty day and it helps to know i’m not alone.
I’m sorry about your friend. I hope he’s alright. People can be cruel. People fear what they don’t understand. I know that doesn’t make it better but it helps to understand.
Nature is cruel, and we came from nature.
I know I deserve to burn in hell for stopping them. But I’m also not sure what was I supposed to do.
I’m not sure why you feel this way. It looks to me like you tried to do your best looking out in a reasonable way for a colleague in your group who was in a chemically altered state.
In the end, you’re not responsible for him. Don’t go partying with him again. If you end up in hell, it won’t be due to this stuff.
It’s not totally clear in your story, but is “A” doing this just to mess with these guys or is it like a closeted gay thing? The first case is kinda messed up, but the second is more complicated. Either way, drugs, alcohol and partying makes everyone do stupid stuff. I pretty much always advise my friends not to take anything that happens at a club too seriously if they’re new to it. On its own, the idea of flirting with people and sharing your number while you’re seriously fucked up and then going “oh shit” and blocking them the next morning doesn’t seem especially cruel to me.
Sorry let me clarify I don’t think A is cruel. He sure is messed up and needs to take a closer look at what he wants. But I’m sad because A and also that random guy at club can’t be true to themselves because of this f*cking “societal norms”
Idk how a country can be both “conservative” and have legalized gay marriage but that’s besides the point. It seems like A is on the downlow, right? And, regardless, what is a married man with kids partying with people 10 years younger than him? This A dude sounds like a whole mess and an irresponsible family man at the very least. Big oof. Anyway, the world is cruel because people decide to forgo virtue for their momentary whims and feelings.
This only got legalized because Supreme Court said that the laws never clarified the genders of husband and wife. The current government has tried several times to get it reversed but couldn’t.
Also here you can only be open about your sexuality if you are rich enough. Because rich and educated ppl are more accepting of LGBTQ community than general public.
Fair enough, fair enough. Thanks for the explanation. 👍
