I realized that “Mensa” didn’t contain enough numerals to be a phone number, and knew it must be understood that any future member would be able to figure out the next two digits in the sequence. I tried dialling MENSANE, MENSAIL, MENSAFE, and MENSAAB, but got three rebuffs and a fax tone.
From “How I Joined MENSA” by Steve Martin
MENSA is a big con. my mother humoured me when i was around 14 or so and i posted back the mini iq test from some paper or magazine or other. of course they replied wow you’re a genius, you better come and get tested in a strict testing environment for real qualified geniuses. they scored me well on their test of words, maths, and square patterns with dots where you have to pick if the next dots should be up or down or whatever. all multiple choice of course.
did alright on the vocab stuff because i read a lot. put my best guess for everything else. big surprise then they gave me an OFFICIAL cert that said you are mega clever why don’t you pay to join up? being a naive child of course i wanted to. mum said something to the effect of do you think they are playing you? i thought she was shitting me and just didn’t want to pay the sub. obviously i’m a fuckin genius. but i knew she didn’t have the spare cash so said yeah nevermind fuck em
dossed the rest of school thinking i didn’t need it, why bother when i am a certified genius? never occurred to me that spending all my sunday job money going half on twenty fags and an eighth of soap bar wasnt genius level decison making
i’m doing alright these days but still fuck mensa