I don’t think I can connect on a deeper level than that. Like, I have friends. We go fishing, camping, play video games. But I’m probably as close to friends I’ve made this year as I am to ones since the fourth grade, and as close as I am with my brother. All the same. We can talk about hobbies, and work, and family, but I’m not going to have any deep conversations about feelings or fears or dreams with them. I don’t even know what a conversation like that would be like. I’d probably be really uncomfortable if they started one.

One time, I messaged a friend about wanting to spend more time with my daughter because my dad worked a lot growing up, and I ended up deleting it because it felt weird to say that.