I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this.
IME the best way to avoid this experience is to just soften your language slightly and be willing to take the extra ten minutes to provide resources to people. “Switch to Linux” is a command, and people generally don’t like being told what to do. “Have you considered switching to Linux? It doesn’t have as many problems with [whatever] as Windows” with a link to a “Linux for noobs” type guide doesn’t get the same response. And be willing to take “no” for an answer!
A miserable little pile of documentation.
Our last apartment had a microwave that insisted that the off/cancel button was ONLY for the microwave part and NOT the timer part, and if you tried to use it to turn off the timer, would display a message saying “push timer button to turn timer off” (or smth to that effect). I found it infuriating. I told my wife, “if they can program it to sass me, they can program it to turn the damn timer off.”
Anyway. I get it.
Ooh, I knew about the Debian switch but didn’t know about thr btrfs. Currently using SpiralLinux as my daily driver but might have to look into Tuxedo at some point.
A lot of people have given good advice here, so I’ll just add that if you want to leave the country, even just for a bit to throw off the trail, you might have more options than you think. You’re under 25 and there’s a decent number of programs out there that will give young people a chance to “see the world” in exchange for cheap labor. The JET program, the Peace Corps, or even the French Foreign Legion if you’re OK with military service. Something to look into, possibly?