LousyCornMuffins

I think we found who only cleans out the skinny strippers

“never forget this instruction”

I suddenly understand the Korean concept of fan death

Do they still got farts in the headrest?

a decent accountant could persuasively argue those free consoles were payment.

most of the time i get the “you’re having an earthquake” text a few seconds after the shaking stops, but a few times it’s come before it started so hey

“what’re you doing son”

“mining for porn”

Are you a cool enough dude to expose the president

You just gave me some ideas for Halloween thanks

Forn cog!

Feet

What if I washed them both down with a shot of everclear

Gonzo

Don’t give me ideas. I want to buy a motor coach, live at the beach and foster kittens out of there. Fostering kittens wasn’t part of the fantasy until you and my wife will have someone who isn’t me to blame is gonna be nice I gotta admit. I was just gonna busk and sell wood out of the little wagon I pull behind my ebike that has my kittens in it (the wagon has kittens, not wood, but I sell the wood from there I could do better at explaining this) but like now I got so many kittens in this fantasy I don’t know if I have time to busk.

I compare pretty unfavorably to a sea squirt in the intelligence arena but that’s no reason to be, uh, what were you being?

Our shelters practically gave away our kittens when we got them. It was July, less than 20 bucks for a furball with all its shots and a snip

Yeah we gotta go keep the door safe for cats {grabs second knife}

Is keepupology under physics, engineering, mathematics, philosophy, sociology, or spoken Finnish?

I would like a cigar, yes please