You don’t have to fancy them for a service, Some are happy to do so. They are not asking for you to bend over yet

It happens, you feel a dick instead of a wax strip on your cheeks

Get on Grindr, I’m sure a gay guy would offer to wax you for free. You do get random offers

Hair removal cream for most areas. Cheeks, base and pube line. If not looking for a wax looking. Shave the hairy bits with a electric razor and then in the shower smooth off with a razor. Always use a 5 blade razor, I found it nicked less and was quicker. If it’s been a while and a jungle, best bet book a waxer and just get over it. I’m nd and hate anything up close or touchy touchy but it’s like ripping off those really sticky plaster. Small pain and then she’s waxing the next part. I’ve had head to toe. You will be grateful after