When my kids were younger, before we had money, we had a “tree” each year that I’d put up after they went to bed. Always something different. One year lights in the coat rack, one year construction paper on the wall, one year my ex cut the top off one of the bushes outside and we sort of carved it into the cone shape, once an inflatable beach ball sort of tree, all sorts of different things but it was never an actual Christmas tree.

That stuff all sounds nice, I would just say to make sure you don’t burn yourself out of keep others from reciprocating your kindness.

I’m not that nice, though we do sometimes let homeless people stay, always have because we know some, I am happier when the workload at home is balanced between us, wouldn’t intervene in a fight because that’s too dangerous.

So I think if you are doing things to be selfless, like at the expense of yourself, watch out. As I noted in my original reply, you need to take care of yourself too, giving too much doesn’t work out better for anyone. You are a person too, just like the people you are trying to help.

I think it’s pretty normal to hold yourself to a standard you don’t impose on others, and I do think it’s somewhat problematic, like perfectionism is. If you get mad at yourself for messing up and not being inhumanly perfect then yeah that’s not good. You are a person too, and should give yourself consideration.

If you just mean you try to think before you act and consider how your words and actions affect others, I would hope everyone does that!

I find it (pork chop) difficult to cook, it’s like undercooked, undercooked, undercooked, then suddenly overcooked without seeming to pass cooked.

Steak we have to get two because the penultimate child and I like that quite rare but youngest and the husband like it much more cooked. So to please anyone we just buy two, and pull one off when seared, let the other one sit in the pan until hotter inside.

Swiss cheese

Wine

Have always had a pretty broad palate but swiss cheese I couldn’t like until I was older, and could taste its flavor relationship to good Parmesan, the nuttiness.

Wine I made a conscious effort this year, that wasn’t a maturity thing, it was a project but have found several I actively enjoy rather than just barely tolerate.

Oh, and turnips - I didn’t like them, then I enjoyed them raw with dips, now I do like them raw or cooked.

For Halloween, yes. We actually have a contest at work, we get it spooky, and at home I decorate the front porch. Love Halloween.

For Christmas I barely decorate at work, at home we get outside lights and inside a tree, not really anything else.

I don’t think it matters (decorating specifically for holidays) but if I lived alone I’d want to decorate for me, so it would probably be sort of Halloween every day. That’s kind of how my work cube is, have a toy rat and crows out all the time but at Christmas I give them little Santa hats.

Being at a concert for the soundcheck, when things are getting set up, that feels so good too, or opening at any business, being there before any customers arrive. That calm before the storm moment has a particular feeling I like.

Does she have curly hair? Manes by Mel is good.

I don’t think you need to interfere in her look though, if she’s dissatisfied with her style she will figure it out. You could sit together somewhere and just critique the outfits of people who walk by, out in the real world.

I love the beach, probably because I grew up here. It’s the division between land and water. In the daytime it’s relaxing and hot. Everyone is nearly naked no matter their shape. Once when I was a teenager we went at night when the phosphorescent algae were in the water and it was so magical, you could wave your hand through the water and a trail of light would follow it.

Love sleeping above a dance club, too, or when a neighbor is having a party. The thumpy muted music coming from below in particular I just find so relaxing and sort of trippy, I love the sleep I get in those conditions.

I think of 31 as pretty young.

Confident, Cocky, Lazy, Dead.

The serial killer in the Tad Williams books, but it makes sense to me.

Most likely it’s the crow whistle and gaming dice.

Never know when you may need a crow, or to roll for something, and they don’t take up much space in my purse.

We kept our democratic congresswoman, and the tax to help the schools passed.

2,2,1,1,1,1

I just want to say that it’s not frivolous or silly to need sex with your partner, you are not wrong to be distressed. It’s a natural and normal thing to need in a romantic relationship.

The environment. That’s really it, everything else is a lower priority to me, because fuck over the world and you have nothing. As far as what might be possible to do with laws and government actions, I would like to see oil taxed like a vice tax, money thrown towards clean energy & transportation and accounting rules changed to include all costs now “externalized”. So if you dump waste in a river, the cost of cleanup falls always entirely on the company that dumped, besides the penalties and jail time, if you are cutting down old trees, the cost is not just the planting of a young tree, but includes cost of time to grow it, but also just that these costs need to be in the prices of goods, as now there is distortion. Clean things should be cheaper not more expensive.

Blonde kids are not usually blonde adults. Bleaching hair is generally how we get blonde adults.

Eventually maybe it will get white, though.

Can’t see the list but basing this on the comments - I have been enjoying the new Hard Quartet album and think you might like. Rock and roll, more or less.

Janelle Monae, any of the first 3 albums in particular, but all of hers flow well.

Run the Jewels, if they aren’t already in your list. Second album, but again, any.

Absolutely love the new Fontaines DC album.

Preacher, it’s on Netflix now. So good.

Warrior, also I think on Netflix now.

Andor was crazy good too, and Scavenger’s Reign.

Not sure about unrecognized, but those are great.

Hmm, yes if she does not masturbate I honestly think she might just not be that much into the physical pleasure, you may have to just take what you can get - even though you would be frustrated, she may not be. It’s hard for me to imagine, too! But if she enjoys the closeness and seeing you get off, your expectations may be getting in the way.

Even if she gets frustrated, she will probably have to figure out herself what works. It’s really good she is not faking, don’t push her to the point she feels like that’s the answer.

ETA: tight angle with her legs up if she is flexible, or kind of sideways so one of your legs is against her vulva (look up coital alignment technique) those positions with some amount of outside contact like that are very intense dual stimulation, and if you are yourself angled upward the tight angle with legs up will also hit those front areas inside where the nerves from the clitoris run upward.