The choices are always “accept” and “maybe later”

Depends on your goal. If you want maximum sound attenuation, you can’t really beat cheap foamies, which are rated up to about 40 dB. If only about 20 dB is good enough for your needs and you want the comfort, custom molded ear plugs are great.

As someone from New Mexico, I’m just happy to be included (Americans often assume it’s a country outside the USA)

I’m hard pressed to imagine a worse suicide method. Huge potential for harm to others, permanent disfigurement and lifelong pain, and unlikely to succeed. I guess that’s the joke, but, damn