• 0 Posts
  • 159 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 19th, 2023

help-circle
  • The up/down vote system directs the ranking algorithm on how to order posts and comments, and it visually signals to the user the relative popularity of a comment.

    This, imo, is a wildly underappreciated mechanic for combating a lot of the harmful issues people associate with social media.

    Most people recognize that discourse on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc. is designed to divide and inflame people. the reddit-style downvote is remarkably effective at addressing this:

    It does two key things in particular:

    1. Downvoted comments are down ranked and hidden, so people are exposed to less toxic content.

    2. If people do engage with unpopular comments, the negative score influences how people engage with them. On Facebook, commenting to defend Biden’s Israel policy will get elevated and create viscous fights. On Lemmy, it will get flagged with a virtual dunce cap. You can dunk on it, but there’s no point in arguing with it: we can all see that the argument is already over. Laugh and ignore.

    Taken together, these discourage people from feeding trolls, and in doing so reduce the incentive to post something uncivil or stupid. It’s a remarkably powerful tool to address a huge problem, and I wish more people understood this.







  • My son went as Wario.

    • Overalls, $15 used on Mercari
    • Yellow shirt: already owned
    • Yellow hat, $10 from a hat store

    I went as Waluigi, similar stuff and costs.

    There’s one more key consideration I haven’t heard people mention: you can choose to make your costume out of stuff you can wear outside of Halloween!

    My son can wear purple overalls any day of the year. Our hats aren’t cheap costume hats, they’re baseball caps, which are useful accessories you can wear any time.

    If you’re looking to get started making a Halloween costume, try going to a thrift store or an online reseller like Mercari and recognize that Halloween is an opportunity to buy stuff you kinda want to wear but feel self conscious about buying. Buy yourself a used leather biker jacket. It’s just a costume! But also… Now you happen to have a dope jacket in your closet. Maybe wear it the week after Halloween and see if it feels right…

    That’s one of the best parts of putting together Halloween costumes, imo.





  • Agreed. His comments are so bizarrely stupid on so many levels.

    They’re not just “wrong”: they’re half-right-half-wrong. And the half that is wrong is idiotic in the extreme, while the half that is right casually acknowledges a civilizational crisis like someone watching their neighbors screaming in a house fire while sipping a cup of coffee.

    Like this farmer analogy: the farmers were right! Their way of life and all that mattered to them was largely exterminated by these changes, and we’re living in their worst nightmare! And he even goes so far as acknowledging this, and acknowledging that we’ll likely experience the same thing. We’re all basically cart horses at the dawn of the automobile, and we might actually hate where this is going. But… It’ll probably be great.

    He just has a hunch that even though all evidence suggests that this will lead to the opposite of the greatest good for the greatest number of people, for some reason his brain can’t shake the sense that it’s going to be good anyway. I mean, it has to be, otherwise that would make him a monster! And that simply can’t be the case. So there you have it.

    It’ll be terrible great.




  • I think it’s remarkable that you and several other folks actually give notice. Now-a-days, I think that’s somewhat unusual.

    A lot of people just bounce. Sometimes they don’t even bother telling anyone, they just don’t show up and stop picking up the phone. I hear about this happening regularly at my husband’s workplace (which to be fair is retail).

    I told my last boss when I began reaching final round interviews so that he could plan accordingly. A lot of people thought that was risky and that I should’ve just quietly lined up my next job and told him I was leaving once I’d accepted, but I liked him and liked the work (it was lab research. I wasn’t a big-time scientist, but I’d been managing the lab for a while and actually gave a shit about what we did).

    Regarding your situation, I think you did what you could and showed a lot more integrity than is common. Could you have stayed until your boss was back from vacation and then given a proper notice? If so, well… then maybe you should’ve. If not… then it’s unfortunate, but there wasn’t much I think you could’ve done.


  • I appreciate this answer, because it at least tries to reason from first principles. You can’t, imo, have this conversation without actually defining what we consider to be the problem.

    I think the key concern is that age – particularly during teenage years – typically correlates with a power imbalance. And the concern is that the younger person could be exploited and/or suffer harm. However we need to remember:

    1. It’s possible for relationships to have a power imbalance and no one is harmed or looks back with regret.
    2. It’s possible for relationships between people of the same age to be very harmful/regretable.

    So the questions I have are: how correlated is a specific age gap with severe harm? And what would we advise in this situation?

    I think that a 16 year-old probably has around a 50% of getting badly hurt in a relationship with another 16 year-old, and probably a ~65% chance with a 19 year-old. Because a 19 year-old can probably manipulate a 16 year-old better than their peer, but they’re also presumably a bit more experienced and mature, which can be a good thing.

    I’m making these predictions presuming that they’re sexually active, btw. Which I think is probable. But if they’re not, I think that the risks go down to around 10% chance in both cases. This is just my gut impression. So I’d just advise any 16 year-old in a relationship with a 19 year-old to move VERY slowly physically, and talk frequently to an older friend or sibling. And if your partner wants to do anything you’re uncomfortable talking about with your older friend or sibling, that’s a sign you shouldn’t do it.

    If you follow that rule, I think 16 and 19 is no big deal. Because I really want to emphasize: a lot of the risk already exists when a 16 year-old dates someone their own age.