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Joined 8 months ago
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Cake day: March 7th, 2024

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  • Get a white noise generator app; I use TMSoft’s White Noise, which lets me put together my own mix. I generally make one with some pink noise (like white noise, but pitched differently and for me it does a better job screening background noise); then, because that’s just a straight sound which can get irritating after a while, I put in a rainstorm over the pink noise. Then I add in some thunder, which is useful in helping my sleeping brain ignore bass notes like garbage trucks and vacuum cleaners. That takes care of interrupting sounds, and also helps nudge my brain into sleep mode when I turn it on.

    The other thing for me are both blackout curtains and a sleep mask. The sleep mask because the blackout curtains aren’t quite good enough; the blackout curtains because I have to take off the mask to pee during the day and don’t want to get assaulted by the sun.

    Phone off silent, obs.



  • Can we break this situation down a bit?

    Re: income: You’re earning just a little too much for government aid: if you got government aid, would that aid offset the loss of income? Like, if you were earning $100 less a month but got $400 in assistance, I’d say it was worth it. Take a look at the numbers. If it’s worth it, talk with your boss and see if you can get either your hours or your pay cut slightly enough to qualify for government assistance.

    Re: the taxes: in my experience, every government process (including tax collection) has an appeal process. You say your agent is relentless and merciless; get in touch with their supervisor, figure out the appeal process. Unless this is a private company, there should be a way to put this on hold; the issue is finding it. It’s a slow season right now; it might be worth it to contact a tax attorney and ask for some free advice.

    Re: expenses: Check with your county social services office. A lot of places have programs to possibly help with utilities, like the HEAT program. Unfortunately, some states are significantly more generous with support than others, but it may be worthwhile. Also look into local charities that may be able to help with some kind of expense. Even if it’s not the expense you were looking for help with, any kind of expense-savings is good.

    Re: mental health services: check your local universities and colleges to see if any of them offer advanced degrees (Master’s/PhD) in psychotherapy, psychology, sociology, social work, or related fields. For those that do, check if they have a community counseling program (they may or may not). If they do, contact them and see if they’ll accept you as a patient; they might, they might not, or they could put you on a waiting list. They’ll also often have sliding scale payments for therapy, like $10 or $15 a session. Yes, it’ll be another expense, but it’ll be helpful documentation for your disability claim.

    If you can’t find anything locally, try farther away; most places started allowing online sessions during the pandemic, and some of them still allow it.









  • Depending on what I want to do, I used a combination of Unified Remote and LocalSend, both of which are available for Linux. With Unified Remote, I can control my PC on my home network. So if I want to copy over a URL, for example, I could open notepad and paste it remotely from my phone’s clipboard (or type it manually), or I could open a new tab on my PC’s browser and paste the URL so it’s open and ready for me the next time I’m at my PC. I can sit downstairs on the couch and check the status of a project upstairs, open and run new programs upstairs, etc.

    My only two complaints are that I need to be at the PC to handle admin messages like “Are you sure you want to install this program?”, which I guess is a safety feature but it’s still annoying. And secondly, I really wish they had an easier way to toggle between left- and right-mouse-click, it gets annoying.

    To send images, actual files or even folders, I use LocalSend. It does require that you click Accept on the device you’re sending to, but I can use Unified Remote to do that, and then save the files to wherever I want to (or accept the default).

    This may be less streamlined than other options, but what I really like about it is that I can complete a task and then not have to think about it again. I don’t have to go back to my desktop and download or save anything, I’ve already done it, the job’s complete. The only exception is when I’ve put a new URL into my browser, but that’s generally because I wanted to look at it on my (much larger than my phone’s) desktop screen.

    Anyway, it works nicely for me; I hope you find a solution that works for you!






  • My mom used to save gift cards and use them for “special things”, to get something she really wanted but was a splurge for her. When she died, she had probably like $800-900 in gift cards waiting to be spent, and they’d lost like a third of their value. They were part of my mom’s estate, so they went to my sister (the executrix). When my sister died, I found those exact same gift cards, still unspent, only this time they’d lost all their value. Plus she has a bunch of gift cards of her own that she’d been saving that had lost a bunch of value as well.

    I know I’m fortunate that I don’t need to scrape money, and that not everyone can afford to do this. But after losing out on a bunch of money, this is what I do: when someone gives me a gift card, I spend it immediately and enthusiastically tell the giver what I got - or, in some cases, supposedly got: occasionally I’ll use the card to buy a gift for someone else, or I’ll just buy gas or groceries. But I use it on something I want or need, even if it’s just in the vaguest way. That avoids losing the value of the money, which I absolutely hate.

    But I take the birthday or holiday or thank-you or thinking-of-you card that the gift card came in, and I’ll tuck in the same amount of cash as was on the gift card. I have a little stash of cards in my desk (and my heir knows to check those cards), all with some amount of money in them. And when I’m feeling down, or really need a treat, or just need to remember that I’m loved, I go pull out the cards and read through some of them. And if I’m still feeling bad, I may pull out some money from the card and go buy myself something - an ice cream or a nice dinner or a pair of socks - it doesn’t matter. To me, it’s that person giving me a giant hug on a day that I really need it, whether that person is even still around - to me, that’s an immensely valuable gift, and something that I always treasure.

    Also, to keep each gift giving, I usually sneak back a couple weeks later and put the same amount of money back into the envelope: just because I spent that specific money doesn’t mean my mom or grandma loved me any less, and sometimes I need to be reminded of that.