I love cats. They choose every day to continue being our friends. They didn’t need to be genetically mutilated to love us unconditionally like dogs. Cats are free creatures.

I’m telling them you said that and letting them loose in your ac intake vent

I can feel my butthole unclenching already 🥲

Tell them to watch some YouTube videos on growing facial hair with the use of minoxidil. The foam kind is best.

Well groomed, long hair, like well-maintained, thick, stretched earlobes, communicate patience and the ability to finesse your way through difficult, potentially uncomfortable situations in service of a larger, long term goal. Unfortunately, you can be very patient at becoming an asshole as well as becoming a decent, well rounded person. Facial hair doesn’t make you cool. Being a cool person makes you cool.

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If you need to joke about sensitive topics to get a reaction, consider the idea that you aren’t actually funny