Nerd of all trades from New York City.
he/him 💙💜🩷
Original content [OC] of mine which I post here is licensed Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0 International.
I really don’t consider it “retroactively editing my thoughts” or anything like that. My thoughts, feelings, and memories remain the same, it’s just a superficial label that turned out to be incorrect and that has since been corrected.
It was August 15, 2012. After he passed we reflected on it all and spoke more about him on January 16, 2013.
Thank you for asking.
He was a really nice person in real life. My friends and I do a radio show which had him as a guest once, and he and his partner joined us for dinner afterward. I’ve always remembered it as a lovely evening with a humble, sweet, curious guy who was working on important things and deserved the best. He sadly passed around five months later.
His loss was such a needless tragedy which continues to infuriate me.
For one thing, had that person transitioned during our relationship it wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker. I happen to be bi, and I could have easily shifted to introducing a romantic partner with a new term. I understand that wouldn’t automatically be the case for everyone else in this kind of situation, but from my perspective the person’s gender presentation was not something that would have ended the relationship on its own. (The relationship just ran its natural course, and we parted on good terms.)
But, putting that aside, I’m still content to treat my previous perspective on that relationship as a misunderstanding at the time that has since been corrected, and to respect that with a retroactive change in description. My ex who I thought was a girl turned out not to be, and that’s completely fine. His transition is something I celebrate for him, and while part of that celebration affects my own story it’s still his own story first and foremost. That’s not something I wish to disrespect with inaccurate terminology when referring to the time we were together.
While I appreciate your input, I believe I’m also explaining it from my perspective.
I’m aware that the whole thing may be a bit novel and perhaps confusing for some folks who haven’t had this sort of experience themselves, but in my experience it has not been that big a deal. It’s certainly not something that compares with the adjustment my ex has made in pursuing their own truth, and I wish that person and anyone else in the trans and non-binary communities all the joy of that.
The person involved is not a girl, and never was. “Girlfriend” is not an appropriate term, with the perspective of what I know now.
Imagine there’s someone named George who came out of the closet as gay, but you have a photo of George from before he came out and was still publicly presenting as a straight person.
Much later in life George publicly claimed his identity as a gay man. We now know he’s gay and was gay back then, even if he hadn’t yet found himself able to live his true identity openly when that photo was taken. You would not look at that photo and say “this is a picture of heterosexual George, he wasn’t gay back then.” It’s still a photo of a gay man, we just didn’t know that yet.
On a similar note, my previous relationship was not with a “girlfriend” despite that being how things seemed at the time. I know better now, and the respectful thing to do is refer to that person by their true pronouns and name even in context of the past, and to use the correct terminology around that
created by deleter
Quick, check on who all those PC company CEOs are shagging.
I used to believe I had an ex-girlfriend in Chicago, but once that person came out as nonbinary trans with he/they pronouns I now know that I have an ex-boyfriend/ex-theyfriend in Chicago.
I went to more than one high school in which the science classrooms were using worn-out microscopes and textbooks old enough that the teacher occasionally told us to correct bits in ink for the next user, while the football team always got the shiniest newest toys to bang their thick skulls together with.
If Ronald Reagan were alive today, he’d be all about it.
About eight years old.
Was the name Calvin Klein?
Star 80.
Next comic con I’m cosplaying as Eric Roberts’ sex chair.
I use a Steam Deck, and compatibility with that machine has definitely influenced how I feel about any game coming down the pike. I’m also a desktop Linux user and really dig how the Steam Deck and SteamOS have forced big developers to care about their stuff running on Linux.
It’s like why home game consoles remained a thing for so long, even after common home computers began to easily kick their butts in terms of raw processing power. Code a game for PCs and you have to worry about supporting all kinds of hardware combinations. Code a game for a console and all your players are using the same machine with the same specs.
Yes, the comic strips community rightly banned him for it.
Posting found images without crediting the source,
Thank you!