I have been prepping my home for the last five hours and I’m exhausted. Couldn’t really do it sooner because I was working. My family always make me feel bad when there is cat hair or dust somewhere. Is it okay to put the bar a little lower? Would it be okay to just do less? What are your own standards about cleaning?
I have fully embraced “lived in hosting”.
I live here. My wife lives here. My cat lives here. I’m not going to try and pretend this isn’t a home and make it spotless for guests. Anyone who complains is probably not the sort of person I want around. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a pig sty, the dishes are done, I vacuum, and clean the bathrooms and such. But seriously, no one has time to make the house perfect. That comes from magazines and TV where there’s money hiring cleaning crews you don’t see or something.
I have some extended family making bank in oil trade, very wealthy, and it’s such a trip listening to them talk about life.
Nannies for their kids that come to them. Grocery delivery. Delivery of almost everything, rarely go to the store themselves. House cleaners/maids that do everything. Landscapers. People to drive their kids to and from extracurriculars. Notice each of these is plural. The only thing I can think of that they don’t have is a chef.
And they try to be down to earth, but their scale is skewed. Like they get thay most people have less time, but they expect the average person to still have like half the time they do, rather than like 1/10th at best.
They have so fucking much free time, and they use it to keep their marriage and family strong. Date nights every week. Multiple family game nights each week. Both of the parents have rich social lives of their own, hobbies they have time to pursue.
It’s astounding just how much of a difference the amount of free time available to them (due to having people to take care of the constant neverending life stuff for them) makes to their quality of life. Most direct example I’ve ever seen of the difference wealth can make.
And their house always looks “HGTV ready”.
“I, too, live in my house” is what I say to friends who start feeling embarrassed about their conditions. There is a bar for what I can tolerate, but it’s mostly about hygiene. Lots of animal fur? Well just let me have a seat that isn’t covered in fur. If it’s a sheet over the couch, so be it. But my bar is somewhere above “smells like cat piss and there’s dried puke on the carpet”. Having cats for 30 years, I get it, it’s a hassle, but I don’t want to be there. Food containers are another thing that can bug me. Empty? Throw it out. Still has food that should have been refrigerated yesterday? Definitely clear garbage at this point. I’ll take a greasy, crumby stove over that, easily. Last spot, really, is the bathroom. Sticky or discolored surfaces are a problem.
But cluttered areas? Stacks of mail? Bad organization? No organization? Whatever. With any of this, I liked you as a friend before, and I’ll like you as a friend after. Maybe I don’t want to come over, but it’s not like I’m going to use your living situation as judgement on who I thought you were outside.
Yeah, my bar is basically is it a health or safety hazard? If no then I don’t care, and if yes then all it changes is I’m concerned and also don’t want to be there