“Inadvertently” does a lot of heavy lifting here. I believe the intentions behind people’s actions usually matter more than the outcome. This probably doesn’t scale well to large organizations or government, but on the individual level it goes pretty far.

Now that said, the feeling of betrayal from a loved one probably hurts more than from an enemy: from an enemy it’s expected. Although I suppose your enemy is motivated to hurt you more grievously than your loved ones are