Yeah I lucked out and had a decent therapist. I was afraid to shave my denial beard until I’d started hormones because everyone was going to ask about it (I’d been incredibly vocal about it during my egg days, it also hid my face from me). I wanted to be too late to stop when I came out. And yeah dressing feminine while masculine looking is fucking scary, and it’s even scarier to do it as a trans woman who can’t just brush it off as “fuck you and fuck gender expectations that’s why” or as a gag. I also was very uncomfortable because my experiments with feminine clothing had been extremely dysphoria inducing. It served as a reminder that my body wasn’t the way I wanted, and I was too broke for stuff like breast forms. Add in that I was young enough to get some huge changes if I could get hrt ASAP (I actually managed to get on before my hip bones fused).
If hrt had been available over the counter I probably would’ve started it before I’d even called to make an appointment. Hell my state barely even had hrt doctors back at that time.
Hell I didn’t learn makeup aside from eyeliner until I was recovering from bottom surgery
To be fair, my therapist place is chill too, but on that one regard they were a bit stuck. It’s unfortunate as they’re one of the best in the country for this stuff.
Also, heh, yeah, the denial beard… I had that too, and exercised extra for the masculine muscles in denial.
I also was very uncomfortable because my experiments with feminine clothing had been extremely dysphoria inducing. It served as a reminder that my body wasn’t the way I wanted, and I was too broke for stuff like breast forms
Yeah exactly, I had the same! I felt like dressing femme while still looking masculine, was like an extra slap in the face that it still didn’t “match”. It was nice, but it was at the same time… yeah no.
For the breast forms, hugs. I would’ve gotten them for you - I have some that I no longer need.
And god, I’m jealous - you got the hrt before the hip bones fused?? Damn. I actually considered HRT when I was 23 (that’s at the border), but unfortunately I wasn’t sure whether my family would’ve been accepting. In hindsight they were, but god, I waited too long… though better late than never. I unironically would consider hip and pelvic widening surgery if that existed.
And yeah same, I’d have started HRT before even appointing if it were over the counter. Fuck the cistem.
I did learn to do makeup, but I don’t bother with eyeliner myself because I find it a hassle. Lipstick and mascara, maybe some foundation, and that’s it for me, basically.
Yeah I lucked out and had a decent therapist. I was afraid to shave my denial beard until I’d started hormones because everyone was going to ask about it (I’d been incredibly vocal about it during my egg days, it also hid my face from me). I wanted to be too late to stop when I came out. And yeah dressing feminine while masculine looking is fucking scary, and it’s even scarier to do it as a trans woman who can’t just brush it off as “fuck you and fuck gender expectations that’s why” or as a gag. I also was very uncomfortable because my experiments with feminine clothing had been extremely dysphoria inducing. It served as a reminder that my body wasn’t the way I wanted, and I was too broke for stuff like breast forms. Add in that I was young enough to get some huge changes if I could get hrt ASAP (I actually managed to get on before my hip bones fused).
If hrt had been available over the counter I probably would’ve started it before I’d even called to make an appointment. Hell my state barely even had hrt doctors back at that time.
Hell I didn’t learn makeup aside from eyeliner until I was recovering from bottom surgery
To be fair, my therapist place is chill too, but on that one regard they were a bit stuck. It’s unfortunate as they’re one of the best in the country for this stuff.
Also, heh, yeah, the denial beard… I had that too, and exercised extra for the masculine muscles in denial.
Yeah exactly, I had the same! I felt like dressing femme while still looking masculine, was like an extra slap in the face that it still didn’t “match”. It was nice, but it was at the same time… yeah no. For the breast forms, hugs. I would’ve gotten them for you - I have some that I no longer need.
And god, I’m jealous - you got the hrt before the hip bones fused?? Damn. I actually considered HRT when I was 23 (that’s at the border), but unfortunately I wasn’t sure whether my family would’ve been accepting. In hindsight they were, but god, I waited too long… though better late than never. I unironically would consider hip and pelvic widening surgery if that existed.
And yeah same, I’d have started HRT before even appointing if it were over the counter. Fuck the cistem.
I did learn to do makeup, but I don’t bother with eyeliner myself because I find it a hassle. Lipstick and mascara, maybe some foundation, and that’s it for me, basically.