Has nobody had a talk with them about how they’re raising someone incapable of taking care of himself? Do they plan to outlive him? I come from the opposite end of the parental academic aid spectrum, so I don’t understand the thought process at all. Is it just untreated anxiety on their part?
Honestly, the amount of parents that act like their precious little baby is going to always be a precious little baby is astounding. It’s like the idea that their child is going to someday become an adult doesn’t enter their minds. They don’t realize how much they’re setting their kids up for failure by refusing to allow (let alone encourage) them to do things independently.
There are times and places to step in and help your child, absolutely. But as they get older, those times should become rarer and rarer. To hand-hold all the time doesn’t build their confidence, doesn’t let them hone their skills, and encourages dependence on someone else to always do things for them. It’s hard to let go, but it’s a part of growing up.
Their kids’ needs don’t matter, what matters is that the parent has a successful child. The measure of success is of course from the point of view of the selfish parent.
I know the youngster in one of these kinds of situations, and she is ashamed. She’s also intimidated into compliance and desperate to leave so she can have her own life.
My cousin is still doing his son’s school work. 2nd year in college
Is he going to work his job too?
Has nobody had a talk with them about how they’re raising someone incapable of taking care of himself? Do they plan to outlive him? I come from the opposite end of the parental academic aid spectrum, so I don’t understand the thought process at all. Is it just untreated anxiety on their part?
Honestly, the amount of parents that act like their precious little baby is going to always be a precious little baby is astounding. It’s like the idea that their child is going to someday become an adult doesn’t enter their minds. They don’t realize how much they’re setting their kids up for failure by refusing to allow (let alone encourage) them to do things independently.
There are times and places to step in and help your child, absolutely. But as they get older, those times should become rarer and rarer. To hand-hold all the time doesn’t build their confidence, doesn’t let them hone their skills, and encourages dependence on someone else to always do things for them. It’s hard to let go, but it’s a part of growing up.
Their kids’ needs don’t matter, what matters is that the parent has a successful child. The measure of success is of course from the point of view of the selfish parent.
Yes, that is their mindset.
But has anyone challenged it?
If college is just a certificate needed to get the good jobs, then this makes a lot of sense.
If college is there for learning, then it is terrible.
I bet there is a difference in the ratios between degrees on these. (i.e. Civil Engineering versus Marketing)
And let me guess, he’s “not a good test taker”?
Damn, how are neither of them ashamed‽
I know the youngster in one of these kinds of situations, and she is ashamed. She’s also intimidated into compliance and desperate to leave so she can have her own life.
It’s not her fault, she was born into it, but it’s still sad.