My car’s radio busted last year. Instead of replacing it with a modern touchscreen, or paying $3000 for a manufacturer replacement, I’ve simply gone without it. Thing is, the radio includes the back-up camera screen. It also contains the controls to the car’s clock. So half the year the time is off by an hour, and I’ve gotten used to backing up my car “the old fashioned way.”

Thankfully, none of these are issues I can’t tolerate. But it does make me wonder what would’ve happened if I’d had a newer car. If so many functions can rely on a radio, how many more functions might somebody get screwed out of if this same issue were to happen in a newer vehicle?

I asked this same question to my older coworkers back when I was 20. The main answer I got was: travel, travel, travel! “Travel before you have kids.” “Travel before you start a long-term career.” “Travel before you buy a house.”

Naturally, being a Millennial, all three of those things became non-issues. 🙃

So let me give some advice for the ages instead, regardless of what the future may hold for you:

• Never stop learning

• It’s okay to not know what you want to do with life

• And, especially in a post-truth, AI-infested world, question everything!

Take the time to learn what logical fallacies are (at least the common ones.) You WILL encounter them, and knowing when you or someone else is using faulty logic can keep you from harm, whether it be from another person (like what we see in politics) or from yourself (like the “Sunk Cost Fallacy,” which might otherwise lead you to stick with bad jobs, bad relationships, and more.)

Tangentially, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Nobody knows everything. Anyone who expects you to know any given thing (unless you’re known to have studied it, of course) isn’t someone worth the admiration of. People with realistic expectations will see you as genuine, and being genuine can carry you far.

I could probably think of more if given the time, but those are the most important things off the top of my head. I’m open to questions in the comments; I’ve lived quite a peculiar life, so I’ve got a range of experiences, from being a homeless vandweller, to being a pilot, to pivoting 90° to working with kids and making art. I’m more than happy to answer any questions that might help people out!

Lmao, where I live that’s par for the course.

Years before my dog passed, I sat in my bed, with her at my feet, and thought about the days she’d be gone.

I started crying. Then the little sweetheart did what little sweethearts do - she came up to me, snuggled me, and gave me kisses.

I held her and let it imprint into my mind.

When she did pass years later, I thought about that night and how she did her best to comfort me. I imagined her still doing that, if she had been here.

Her passing wasn’t easy, but having known how she reacted when I’d already thought about it made the time easier. I know she didn’t want me to be sad. She wanted to make me happy and be a supportive friend. Even in death, I could recall that one night and remember her sweetness trying to pick me up.

To this day, I carry some of her ashes in a necklace over my heart. She used to want to follow me everywhere. Now she always will.

Oof, yeah, same. There’s too much cringe.

I also can’t stand fight scenes. They’re way too intense. The best I can do is zone out when they happen and at the end ask whoever’s watching with me, “Who won?”

It’s sad how terms get co-opted. I get it’s part of the progression of language, but it still sucks.

I soak up the feelings of those around me, but it’s not some hippie woo-woo thing. I don’t think it’s “special,” just uncontrollable empathy. I love watching game shows because I take in the excitement and happiness of the crowd/players. On the flip side, if I see someone crying, it’s hard to stay neutral, because I feel their pain without trying to.

Is it a normal human reaction? Absolutely. Do most people experience it as strongly as I do? I have no evidence either way. It could be more extreme for me, but it could also be normal - just boiling down to differences in emotional regulation.

Either way, I guess I’ll be using the old, unambiguous term “empathic.” It still works, after all, and doesn’t carry the baggage of the newer term.

There’s an apparently-eternal rose bush outside my childhood home. My parents wanted to change up the landscaping decades ago and have tried to remove it several times since. Each time, it sprouted back up.

My dad managed to dig it up from the root last time. Yet somehow, it still grew back!

I told them - clearly, this house does not and never has belonged to you. It belongs to this rose bush. It has decided that it lives here and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

Sometimes I cry happy tears when I hear kids having a grand old time playing at playgrounds. That sort of pure joy is so far from my grown-up experiences, it’s like my brain can’t process it anymore.

I wish I had the permissions to install ad blocks on my work laptop. On the plus side, the kids I work with are learning that ads are to be disliked. When an ad interrupts something we’re watching, I go “booo.” Now one of my students does it, too.

At least I can consider it a form of inoculation - gotta teach ‘em young to resist the ever-present brainwashing attempts advertisements.

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Yeah, just rub it in, why doncha

would it kill you to let her continue in the game?

I mean, technically…

I’m so sorry that shit like that is still happening. As an (as-yet undiagnosed) autistic child, I was in the same boat. Bullies use their “strength in numbers” to have a gaggle of friends agree to lie against a lone victim, perhaps one who’s already known to struggle with emotional regulation. It’s nearly impossible to convince anyone of your innocence when other kids weaponize your weaknesses like that. Maybe you threw a chair against a wall in class one day, and now the school administrators are ready to believe that you’d escalate to actually attacking someone (even though you don’t have a history of hurting anyone. Just inanimate objects. Because believe it or not, some of us do have some degree of self-control.)

I’ve been there, and I know what absolute bullshit is possible for someone like us. I’m livid on your behalf.

Thank you for this.

It’s so simple, dumb, and judging from the dopamine hit, exactly where my brain wanted to go.

I didn’t know what it was at all until I came to the comments. I just thought, “Why is there a random cooler rolling around? Did somebody lose it?”

Ah, can’t wait to look back on this comment a few years from now and slowly shake my head at how naive I was…

I work with kids, including a bright little boy who told me that “Why?” is his favorite question. I explicitly tell him that I hope he never stops asking it. His questions challenge the depths of my knowledge and compel me to look up questions I never thought of before. I love it.

I call him my “little scientist.” He’s only 4 and he teaches my coworkers new things all the time. I feel so lucky to get to work with a little knowledge-sponge that’s as curious as I am!

I love to make a positive impression on the world. I love to empower children, give comfort to those around me, to volunteer my energy and talents for a greater good.

But in the back of my mind, sometimes there’s a little voice that reminds me, “Whatever good you put into the world, your mom can vicariously claim to have created. This will never not be true, because she is responsible for your existence.”

And I hate it. I learned what not to be by observing her. I learned how hypocrites are able to function, how some people are able to override reality with their “feelings,” and how manipulators manage to get their way. Credit goes where it’s due, for sure, but she really shouldn’t be proud of the things she taught me. I became who I am in spite of her, not because of her.

I came to the same conclusion. I know how my mom reacts to news she doesn’t like - she defaults to denial. My memory has always been stronger than hers, so there’s no shortage of incidents that I remember, that she has long forgotten. (The tree remembers what the axe forgot, after all.) If I were to attempt to bring things up, she’d deny such things ever happened. Instead of me having catharsis and her having self-recognition, I’d be put in a defensive position and she’d say I’m exaggerating or making things up. Which is to say, attempting to have a serious talk with her always makes me feel worse.

Thankfully, I have siblings, and they remember what our childhood was like. We have all given up on trying to get our mom to see the light. Instead, we have a secret group chat where we can vent as needed.

This is why I love Lemmy. There’s a recognition that we’re all imperfect beings stuck in this crazy thing called “life” together. It only makes sense to support each other.

my existence is technically “illegal” lol

Small community Lemmy, you’re one of those commenters that I feel like I kinda know (even though I totally don’t. But I seem to upvote you a lot, so you’re recognizable in a good way.) I just want to say, I think this is a really cool fact about you. It’s like you were born a badass.

The only things that could make it cooler would be if you were born with your middle fingers raised, or your first words were, “Fuck the system” (in any language.)