I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!
Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother’s (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.
I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it’s the middle of winter, so not a great start.
I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I’m scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?
Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty “fuck you” problem and therapy is just for “I feel sad sometimes” problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?
What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?
Something your therapist would not have to report is if you asked for her help to create an escape plan.
You’ve said the therapy is helping you hold a mindset that doesn’t just accept your situation. So you don’t have to go into more detail right now about why it’s so bad.
You can just make your therapy plan:
Step 1 “Persuade my therapist to help me get myself into a safe and sustainable living situation away from my immediate family”
with the promise that then you’ll do
Step 2: “Tell my therapist everything she needs to send in the authorities, in order to protect others in the family and community.”
She may be able to connect you to support services you couldn’t access on your own. Both because of her professional authority and because she’s not stuck in the house with him watching, like you are.
I’m wishing you all the lucky breaks, OP.