Okay, I feel like this needs to be addressed as well: this, like, public self-flagellation is not useful either. I have never once been ashamed of being a man.
The problem that men have here is cultural and systemic, it’s expressed with statistics and social norms—it really, really has nothing to do with you or me specifically.
If you’ve already done the work of recognizing that negging women is extremely rude, then you’ve already improved as a person. There’s no reason to be self-loathing about it.
Oh, hold on, I am absolutely not against bullying these people mercilessly. I’m probably meaner to them than you are, if I were just guessing.
The thing that I don’t want people to do is treat a cultural critique as if it were a personal one. A lot of the pushback that you’ll see from the fragile male types is just manifested insecurity over the fact that they think they can’t go up and talk to a woman without her splashing her drink in their face. The critique is just describing the currents of the ocean, but they will treat it as if it were a personal attack because what you’re really arguing with is their hurt feelings.
I don’t agree with passing off their behavior as “cultural”. I am ashamed of men because some of them are reprehensible, and some of them want to ignore how reprehensible those ones are or explain it away.
I choose to embrace feeling deeply ashamed at how we’ve allowed the worst of us to form the general opinion of us and vocalize that routinely.
Fuck their insecurities, if they want to be able to go up to a woman without “getting her drink splashed in their face” maybe they should focus harder on fixing the problem so women can generally feel safe with us.
if it’s any consolation, does make the bar for picking up woman incredibly low, makes it easier for the rest of us i think. just don’t be a complete creep and your at top of the curve
I recently re-entered the dating pool for the first time in a decade and it’s incredible how much attention I get from just appearing clean, having my shit together, and not posting a picture with me holding a fish. Never got so much attention from women before in my life. Had a date in like one week.
The bar is very, very low. I am sorry, ladies out there.
Lots of women who I know and date say “the bar is in hell.” Fr just be a functional adult with good hygiene and emotional intelligence and you are in the top 1%.
I mean, I am 6’3”, have all my hair, and have 20% bodyfat, but there’s no indication of my financial status on my profile. I’m financially independent but I live in a modest house and have a practical, not fancy car. I’d say I’m a fairly normal lanky nerd that’s slightly on the spectrum.
Point is, I feel like an average 50th percentile guy overall, but I’m getting a lot of attention, maybe 90th percentile based on what I read online. Still get ghosted a bunch, but who cares.
I’m friends with several women: no it doesn’t, and no it doesn’t.
Having your shit together means your room doesn’t have a pile of garbage building on the floor. It means you’ve hung up 1 piece of art to make your white walls more interesting. It means your carpet was washed within the last 3 months.
This is honestly better than what I’ve encountered. At least they are trying to attract a woman.
There are types who can both hate a woman’s personality and envy those she likes and hate her for not liking them, all at the same time.
But yes, being male, I’ve been recently inspired by reading about medical advancements in procreation without boys. This will be necessary to counter the population growth on the side of various shmucks and their abused wives.
(I’ve recently learned I have no right to call myself a shmuck since 13 years ago.)
Fuck I hate being male sometimes. What swamp do these skeezy sexist MAGA guys crawl out of?
This particular sleaze is definitely male perpetuated and worth calling out. But shittiness knows no gender (or age or ethnicity for that matter.)
Well, he’s right
Of course he is. He’s in IT!
It’s fun being deeply ashamed of your gender because some of us are filth and scum.
These fuckers harm everyone with their actions. Wish we could do something actionable about it.
Okay, I feel like this needs to be addressed as well: this, like, public self-flagellation is not useful either. I have never once been ashamed of being a man.
The problem that men have here is cultural and systemic, it’s expressed with statistics and social norms—it really, really has nothing to do with you or me specifically.
If you’ve already done the work of recognizing that negging women is extremely rude, then you’ve already improved as a person. There’s no reason to be self-loathing about it.
I didn’t say that I was ashamed of myself, I said I was ashamed of men and the association they cast on me.
You’re kinda enabling that behavior by advocating against vocalizing how shitty it is.
Oh, hold on, I am absolutely not against bullying these people mercilessly. I’m probably meaner to them than you are, if I were just guessing.
The thing that I don’t want people to do is treat a cultural critique as if it were a personal one. A lot of the pushback that you’ll see from the fragile male types is just manifested insecurity over the fact that they think they can’t go up and talk to a woman without her splashing her drink in their face. The critique is just describing the currents of the ocean, but they will treat it as if it were a personal attack because what you’re really arguing with is their hurt feelings.
I don’t agree with passing off their behavior as “cultural”. I am ashamed of men because some of them are reprehensible, and some of them want to ignore how reprehensible those ones are or explain it away.
I choose to embrace feeling deeply ashamed at how we’ve allowed the worst of us to form the general opinion of us and vocalize that routinely.
Fuck their insecurities, if they want to be able to go up to a woman without “getting her drink splashed in their face” maybe they should focus harder on fixing the problem so women can generally feel safe with us.
if it’s any consolation, does make the bar for picking up woman incredibly low, makes it easier for the rest of us i think. just don’t be a complete creep and your at top of the curve
I recently re-entered the dating pool for the first time in a decade and it’s incredible how much attention I get from just appearing clean, having my shit together, and not posting a picture with me holding a fish. Never got so much attention from women before in my life. Had a date in like one week.
The bar is very, very low. I am sorry, ladies out there.
Lots of women who I know and date say “the bar is in hell.” Fr just be a functional adult with good hygiene and emotional intelligence and you are in the top 1%.
Thank you for telling me I’m unfit.
This reads like a joke or an exaggeration, but it’s really there.
I must be doing something wrong then lol
It means he’s attractive.
It means he has money.
If you lack both of these, it’s going to be rough.
Yours is the exact attitude that causes women to flee. Bitterness is not attractive.
I mean, I am 6’3”, have all my hair, and have 20% bodyfat, but there’s no indication of my financial status on my profile. I’m financially independent but I live in a modest house and have a practical, not fancy car. I’d say I’m a fairly normal lanky nerd that’s slightly on the spectrum.
Point is, I feel like an average 50th percentile guy overall, but I’m getting a lot of attention, maybe 90th percentile based on what I read online. Still get ghosted a bunch, but who cares.
I’m friends with several women: no it doesn’t, and no it doesn’t.
Having your shit together means your room doesn’t have a pile of garbage building on the floor. It means you’ve hung up 1 piece of art to make your white walls more interesting. It means your carpet was washed within the last 3 months.
This is honestly better than what I’ve encountered. At least they are trying to attract a woman.
There are types who can both hate a woman’s personality and envy those she likes and hate her for not liking them, all at the same time.
But yes, being male, I’ve been recently inspired by reading about medical advancements in procreation without boys. This will be necessary to counter the population growth on the side of various shmucks and their abused wives.
(I’ve recently learned I have no right to call myself a shmuck since 13 years ago.)