Depending on which level of classification you’re considering we’re all frogs.

Joke’s on you that’s a toad

There are lots of companies that offer stock as well as monetary compensation, and things like profit sharing.

“But that makes people work just hard enough that they don’t get fired”

“It’s a question of motivation. If I bust my ass and Initec ships a few more units I don’t see another dime. So where’s the motivation?”

It’s insane that companies haven’t gotten this hint in the 27 years since Office Space was released.

Yeah but if you have two you spread the risk. Plus you have a parts car.

You could buy two classic cars for the price of a new one.

It would be awesome for a bunch of woodworkers to carve some ghost guns to show how stupid this is. Printing can’t be that much stronger than oak, so it should work.

Which is why I drive a dumb fartbox that doesn’t even shift for me and not Formica countertops with an iPad and a game controller.

Damn, a 99 Mustang must be riveted together with tractor parts

That year and earlier had way less tracking and also have cars I actually want.

For example, my 2015 car has no connectivity because the cell modem is too old. And it’s a station wagon, which nobody makes anymore.

I will never buy a car made after 2018.

Raccoons are too cool to be Feds.

It’s the “birds” you have to watch out for.

If the water is hitting my rectum and not my anus it has ceased to be a shower and is now an enema

I always go back to that line from Men in Black about the difference between a person and people.

In aggregate we really are the worst.

Yeah except now the music of my childhood is on classic rock stations. And there’s no modern rock station at all.

All those folks worrying about population decline should be thrilled

Because a dick is too obvious:

Saint Carrier blesses us with his cooling breeze

I should start out playing Zork with a Dvorak layout.

Zvorak or something