There is a South Indian film that takes on this idea.
Two nearly century year grandparents have fallen into a routine of elderly living, taking care of each other with some help from the kids.
One day the grandfather finds a love letter from another man addressed to his wife from over 50 years ago. He is livid and wants a divorce despite their near 75 year relationship.
The family largely tries to dissuade him but he is determined to pursue divorce. His wife largely remains silent throughout all of this.
Ultimately a daughter who the grandfather has estranged for going on her own path returns and the context of the grandmother’s affair is revealed.
The grandfather was a flawed character with an inflexible patriarchal view on family dynamics (a fairly global norm in the 1950s and 60s). He has shown growth into a more egalitarian mindset since then.
However, when they prematurely lose their eldest son to a drowning accident, he struggles to cope. He turns to alcohol and while being lost in the bottle his wife (the grandmother, who is also mourning) has to find a way to keep the family together, raise the kids, manage the household entirely on her own.
It was during this period that the affair occurs. A man in the community offers the grandma emotional support while the grandfather is trying to drink his grief away, detached entirely from his family in any meaningful way.
When the grandfather comes to know that it occurred during a period of life that he has come to regret, he forgives her, as she forgives him for his detachment while grieving the loss of their son. Having reconciled they die peacefully together in their sleep.
I completely agree with you that obsessive monogamy is toxic. I think if someone is cheating “casually” in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship then that is a red line and disrespectful. However, real life can get pretty complicated and no one should be entering a relationship expecting to exert absolute control over their partners body / intimacy. That is incredibly toxic
There is a South Indian film that takes on this idea.
Two nearly century year grandparents have fallen into a routine of elderly living, taking care of each other with some help from the kids.
One day the grandfather finds a love letter from another man addressed to his wife from over 50 years ago. He is livid and wants a divorce despite their near 75 year relationship.
The family largely tries to dissuade him but he is determined to pursue divorce. His wife largely remains silent throughout all of this.
Ultimately a daughter who the grandfather has estranged for going on her own path returns and the context of the grandmother’s affair is revealed.
The grandfather was a flawed character with an inflexible patriarchal view on family dynamics (a fairly global norm in the 1950s and 60s). He has shown growth into a more egalitarian mindset since then.
However, when they prematurely lose their eldest son to a drowning accident, he struggles to cope. He turns to alcohol and while being lost in the bottle his wife (the grandmother, who is also mourning) has to find a way to keep the family together, raise the kids, manage the household entirely on her own.
It was during this period that the affair occurs. A man in the community offers the grandma emotional support while the grandfather is trying to drink his grief away, detached entirely from his family in any meaningful way.
When the grandfather comes to know that it occurred during a period of life that he has come to regret, he forgives her, as she forgives him for his detachment while grieving the loss of their son. Having reconciled they die peacefully together in their sleep.
I completely agree with you that obsessive monogamy is toxic. I think if someone is cheating “casually” in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship then that is a red line and disrespectful. However, real life can get pretty complicated and no one should be entering a relationship expecting to exert absolute control over their partners body / intimacy. That is incredibly toxic