I always have had this dichotomy. First off, I have moderate ADHD (don’t we all on Lemmy, ha!) And am a maximalist, meaning I like stuff. Having stuff that does something (video games, PCs, TVs, cars, motorcycles, audio gear etc) or enables me to do things (tools, climbing gear, cheese press, etc). I’m maybe a mild hoarder, but to be fair if I have something collecting dust I give it away or sell it to someone who can enjoy it. I don’t keep garbage (don’t all hoarders say this? Oh boy…)
If its not obvious, I do a ton of shit. I often look at it as, “well, life is finite so I’m going to do all I possibly can before I’m not able to/the world ends”.
The issue is twofold. One is, guilt. “Do I really need this stuff? Do I need another video game? Do I need to plan for another shed for garden items or is what i have just fine?”
Secondly, it makes it hard to relax. Sure, I can chill and sit and read and listen to music sometimes, but I’m always thinking, life is draining away, everything is getting worse and more expensive, I really should be finishing projects and getting stuff done before something bad happens"
Then you see all those psycho linked in folk who are always talking about bettering yourself and getting up at 5 am every day to go for a run. That’s not me. But then i wonder if I’m not living up to my potential.
If this sounds like a first world problem, it is. I’m very spoiled. I work 65 hours a week but its a fine job. A little boring (maybe thats why i feel underutilized, my brain likes to go full speed) but I’m not in the mines or anything. I know MANY others have it far far worse.
You sound paralyzed by the infinite possibilities behind you, and you’re worrying too much about the opportunity cost of how you spend your time. You do A, and then think about how you could have been doing B or C instead. But the truth is that at any given moment we can only do 1 thing, and as such are choosing not to do an infinite number of other things.
So, my kind of existential answer is that only you can decide what you should and shouldn’t be doing.
If having stuff and doing stuff brings meaning and adds value to your life, then do it. If chilling out and relaxing in comfort and good company is meaningful and valuable to you, then do that instead.
In the end you will die, and after that, the death of the Earth, our star system, or galaxy and even the universe itself. We can interpret that fact to mean that nothing we do really matters, or we can interpret it to mean that anything we do is valid if we feel that is what we are driven to do.
As long as you are being a good person and fulfilling your obligations to others, then you should recognize the power that comes with freedom over your life. Keep looking forward.