Depressed… college plans on pause… lots of free time… have a disappointed mother… kinda hate myself… trying to do some writing… but end up procrastinating with binge watching tv or anime… currently trying to seek help for depression… on parent’s insurance and they’re paying for treatment… I wanna get medications but I kinda feel like I’m “drugseeking” lol… initial few sessions… I don’t think they want to prescribe me meds yet… talking kinda feels like a waste of time ngl… wtf am I even doing…

Probably just gonna continue with family bussiness and stuff… hopefully I’m mentally prepared enough for it…

I’m Asian… but do not live up to the stereotype lol, don’t even have a college degree… can I even call myself an Asian?

My mom keeps talking about some cousin that allegedly “went to Singapore on bussiness trips and made millions of dollars”…

Yeah… sureee… I don’t buy it… probably exaggerated just to brag… they also boast about their expensive vacations all the time on WeChat which my immediate family rarely, if ever, have…

And one of my cousins had this expensive “Sweet 16” birthday party that my family was invited to and I was a kid at the time so I was forced to go… I hate the cuisine… never had those stuff before and my taste-buds just despise it… ended up just going home half hungry lmao

I don’t have really have any deep resentments tho… their mom, aka my Aunt, aka my dad’s sister, got us to the US… so… yeah… thanks for that… I guess… and good for them lol… but mom wouldn’t stop comparing us to them… “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE LIKE THEM”

Idk mom, maybe your genes suck ass lmao (she has no blood relations to those cousins, they are on the paternal side of the family)

(pls don’t judge lol)

(Oh shit did I go off on a tangent again? sorry lmfao I love story telling cuz I have no friends to tell it to IRL)