edit: the date isn’t happening anymore. he texted me asking if we could change the venue as he realized he can’t really afford that restaurant at the moment (???, why was this realization so last minute) & i told him no worries i can pay for everything. he told me no way i could ever let a girl pay, it’s not fair to the girl and also “emasculating” to him. hate that attitude. called it off and cut contact. thank u, next.
So I hit this guy up on Insta, and we’ve been chatting for the past few days, calling and video calling and all that. Tonight he’s taking me out to dinner; just a date, nothing more. I talk to my parents about everything, and they told me to observe his behavior but keep an open mind.
It’s not necessarily as simple as “just observe his behavior”. Sure, if this is someone who dates young women routinely and on purpose, the guy might show obvious red flags. But even if his motives are “innocent”, the dynamics with even much smaller age gaps are usually very unhealthy and unequal, at least in my experience and especially when one partner is not at least in their mid-twenties. Often it’s something they only realise much later.