Generally, no, I don’t find slurs acceptable. Let me say there are some light-hearted jokes that are more like a group’s preferences than deficiencies, but it seems you’re talking about stereotypical deficiencies. Language evolves and slurs can become terms of endearment

I generally find that the people who use slurs for jokes are really just reinforcing stereotypes to the harm of the named groups, all for a laugh with their in-group. When I’ve seen the out-group name themselves with a slur, it tends to feel like that person is trying to prove themselves to the in-group as not so out of the group. Even when “equivalent” slurs are thrown at the in-group, their weight and historical context tend to be far less impactful. Even when “cracker” is thrown at white United States Americans, there’s a clear and obvious heft behind that “equivalent” term for black people, given that it’s a word with such heavy risk it’s still pronounced “n-word” instead of being said in full. The problem I have with these words, even among friends or when spoken by someone of that slur, is it continues to foster and promote negative stereotypes about ethnic groups, typically. Every group has something they’re cheap about, yet it’s “jewing down” or “gypping” you in the US+.

Personally, the only time I bring out my slurs is when my dad decides to say some oldhead racist shit. I match his harmless/“how I was raised in a different time” terminology with the equivalent words for his ancestry. Suuuuddeeenly it’s a big fuckin problem. .