Yesterday I was at a restaurant with my friends. This Asian guy came in and sat near us. I noticed him speaking Korean on the phone. I consume a lot of Korean content, so this got me really excited. On a whim, I decided to go up to him and chat. I introduced myself, and he invited me to sit with him if I wanted to, even though he was a bit awkward, lol. He ordered some stuff for me. I found out he’s here in Switzerland for work, and we had a good talk. I ended up hanging out with him around the city. We exchanged contact info and are seeing each other again today after he gets off work. It was my first time doing something like this, and I honestly didn’t know meeting people could be so spontaneous and organic.
I’ve always worked in retail and sales, and have even owned retail shops, so I long ago got comfortable with chatting with strangers.
I once went to a big dinner party with a couple of friends, where none of us knew anyone else at the party.
We sat together, but I barely said a word to my friends. I spent most of my time speaking with people I didn’t already know. As we were walking home, one of my friends asked “How do you do that? Just talk to people like that?”
I hadn’t really thought of it before, but all I do is Be Honest. If I know about a subject, I will say it, and even debate it if I have to. But more importantly, if I DON’T know about a subject, I don’t pretend to know stuff, and try to fake it. That only makes you look like a doofus. There is no shame in admitting you don’t know much about something, but you are curious, and then ask questions, and then follow up questions, so they see that you are really trying to understand, and you are counting on them to teach you. People really appreciate that attitude, especially when it’s genuine.
Even more importantly, I try to avoid subjects I already know about, and can expound upon at length, and try to learn about something new. Someone has an interesting job that I’ve never experienced? Let’s learn about that.
It’s especially effective if I’ve done both - asked questions about things I don’t know about, while also speaking definitively about things I do know about. Then people realize that you are smart, but also a genuinely curious person, who isn’t just trying to look important by being a phony.
Don’t be like my dummy uncle, who always has to prove to everybody that he knows more about their job than they do, no matter how educated and experienced they are, and always invents some story where he saved the day, or told off someone in authority. {sigh}
Yeah exactly! Everything you said. It’s definitely curiosity that’s key. Just being curious about the people around you. Every single person you pass will see the world through a different window, than you ever can, and the only way to see through their window is to ask them, their view is formed by how they, specifically grew up, and the places they’ve seen, and knowledge they’ve absorbed.
Personally, I pretend I don’t know as much about something, because other people’s interpretation can give you a better perspective on something, you already know. Probably pretend is too strong a word, I more ask questions from their perspective before saying my perspective. Because if you just make bold statements, people are mostly too polite to correct you. And I find, sometimes people help me add to my knowledge, or help me see I’ve picked something up wrong, if I phrase things in questions rather than statements.
Now that I’m older, all that conversation serves me well, because I always have an anecdote about nearly anything, even if it’s not mine. I don’t take credit, I always say, I once met a guy who…
Not long ago, someone was amazed that I actually had something to contribute to some obscure subject, and somebody else said, “Oh, yeah, that’s Barney. He’s got a story for everything.”