Guy here…

I met a girl at a social club party. It was a ski club that we both belonged to. We hit it off at the party and we learned that there was going to be an informal gathering of ski clubbers at a local entertainment complex the next weekend. I had never been to it so she said she would show me around.

I thought we both had a good time. At the next ski club meeting I gathered my courage and approached her with the intention of asking her out on a date.

She told me that I was “a lost puppy that is always around”. I apologized and told her that it would never happen again. I took responsibility for my actions and made sure that I never crowded her again. Which is what happened at the entertainment complex. I didn’t do it deliberately it was due to my own social awkwardness coupled with being neurodivergent.

As a part of that I put her in the permanently do not date category. The thing was we somehow ended up in the same clique. So we found ourselves in proximity anyway, although I did my best to not crowd her.

Then she invited me to a party that she was throwing. At the party I met her finance, which was a surprise as I didn’t know she was even seeing someone. But I was happy for her. Her fiance was a bit of a twit though and somehow he managed to dislocate his shoulder… I was the only person there that stepped up to help him. She didn’t even attempt to step in. Actually she glared at us while I was helping him.

Fast forward to the next ski club meeting and she sought me out and hung off me the entire meeting. I really didn’t think anything about it, other than she was being appreciative that I helped her fiance…

Well I was wrong, but didn’t learn that till about two weeks later when my girlfriend and I finally revealed we were together… Which actually predated the party mentioned above. My girlfriend wasn’t at the party because we were keeping our relationship a secret for a while and she was traveling.

It turned out her meeting me at the ski club meeting was her attempt to get me to ask her out. Which I had three inviolate rules against. One, she made it clear from the beginning that she did not want to date me… You know the whole lost puppy comment. Two, I do not get involved with people in committed relationships. She never came out and stated that she had broken up with her fiance. The third and most important rule is, I do not cheat on my significant other… Period.

So she would glare daggers at me anytime we were within proximity. This started in January of 1994 and continued till the week that the original entertainment complex where all of this started closed in 1998. 1998 was the last time I ever saw her and it was by chance in front of that same complex. She glared at me just as hard that day as when she found out I was already seeing someone.

So she rejected me and I kept the peace and we became… While not friends at least acquaintances going around the same group for a couple of years.

I didn’t really reject her, so much I was already seeing someone else and was keeping it secret until we decided to announce it officially. I did not consider this girl close enough to tell her beforehand and I did not give her any reason to think I was interested in her.

I still received glares for years though.

In case you’re wondering about the secrecy… My girlfriend was considerably older than me. We just felt it wise till we figured out what we were going to be to each other. We fell into being serious rather quickly and dated for over 3 years.