I love her and am not interested in anybody else while she claims I should just find somebody else while getting very aggressive when the opportunity presents itself. (I obviously don’t partake)

Friend, have you considered that your wife may be asexual and gets nothing from sex? Or potentially is dysphoric about her body/sex? Asking because I have friends like this (and a partner to a much lesser extent).

I would seriously consider taking your wife up on the offer, if for no other reason than to make sure your needs are being met, which is very important. I know you love your wife and don’t see interest in others, but a dead bedroom can generate all kinds of resentment that your kids most definitely will see. My wife’s parents had a relationship that sounded very similar to what you described, and it blew up like 3-5 years ago and we’re still dealing with the aftermath, including mom going bugfuck and developing Munchausen’s.

I would at least find a therapist and discuss it with them. Your needs are important too, and there are ways to get those met without sacrificing the relationship or disrupting things too much for the kids.