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“If she was a spice, she would be flour” - Louise Belcher
I love how you don’t let facts influence your opinion.
It’s really hard to underestimate you.
Ohhh, I like this one. Commited to permanent memory.
I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
What does this even mean
“Your mom is a hoe and your dad is an alcoholic.”
Explanation
Hamsters have a lot of random sex and elderberries can be fermented into wine.
(You DO need Fr*nch accent to make this insult work tho)
It means their quest to seek the Holy Grail is likely doomed. And besides, we’ve already got one.
Beat me to it
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I’ve been using that for people who are completely useless.
I work with an older lady who hits people with “you’re so pretty” when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
I first saw this used by Hugh Hefner in some reality TV show with some of his bimbos in Venice. One of them said how cool it was to be where Al Capone was born and he responded with, “You’re so pretty.” Of course, she absolutely took the compliment at face value.
There’s a great artist that sells stuff at our local ren-faire; I bought a fridge magnet that says “I saw thee, and thought my day unwell.” It’s illuminated like an old manuscript and depicts a slim greyhound tossing his cookies.
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say “eyebrows” in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been
You look like you trust politicians/newspapers/AI
You think that streamer likes you
Your brain could revolve around inside a peanut shell without ever touching the sides
You have a head full of vacuous nothings that occasionally leak out of your mouth
(To name a few that I enjoy)
Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).
I only recently discovered the power of the thumbs down in the car. It is magical.
If all the village-idiots of all the villages in the world, would leave for a brand new village of village-idiots, you’d be their village-idiot.
If idiot does not count as “swear” tho…
Lano & woodley ftw.
Oh I didn’t even know where it was from, I just heard that somewhere and it got stuck :) But good to know, will check them!
“You are not acting like the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.”
Guaranteed to slug the inner child of, at least, three or four generations. Might have diminishing returns at the extremes (brainwashed boomers and brainrot zoomers) but should still hit pretty hard on those who grew up watching Fred Rogers and are capable of some amount of introspection.
I bet you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
