My father is sorting items in his huge houses, 2 of them, to sell, give away or dump as a hopefully previous step to downsizing, which took me to think about how much stuff of my childhood sits there wasting space, stuff I could try to sell or give away, because after my parents die I don’t plan to move back there: I’ve made my life elsewhere and down there there are no decent jobs.
The items: A huge collection of 300 or so music CDs and 50 vinyl records I bought between ages 15 and 25 of my favorite bands back then. I don’t believe I’d get even 2 bucks a piece, not even for the vinyls (no special editions), my library with 250 or so books I bought and received as presents during my childhood, including a complete encyclopedia, clothes that are already too small for my physique.
I moved out 10 years ago and I’ve rarely visited. Those items are more something I remember than something I need: I digitized the music library years ago, the books I like I can get online or I already have them, I could save some clothes that fit and toss the rest, I could also use my old bed and study table, because those things are actually useful. I don’t even have a CD or a vinyl player (my father does).
I know that stuff is only stuff and when I die, it will all remain here on earth and most probably be sold or destroyed, but I I just can’t bring myself to throw them away, even though I know it’s the logical choice as a previous step to sell that old house.
Moving the stuff in with me makes me a hoarder, so no. Plus I don’t have that much space. And what would I move the stuff in with me for? It would sit there in boxes wasting space.
What worked for you?
I used to be super sentimental and a bit of hoarder, but when my parents split and were talking about selling the house I had to start getting rid of stuff. It was hard at first, but got easier over time.
First I got rid of junk in bad shape. Then I started donating stuff in good shape I would never use or display again. Then I got rid of stuff I hadn’t used or wanted to use in a very long time. Then I got rid of stuff that I had used or would want to use again that I thought I could easily replace. Throughout the process I would put aside anything I struggled to put in a garbage bag or donation box. When I finally had to go through that stuff, I had been desensitized to getting rid of sentimental things and got rid of more than half of it.
Now, all my stuff would fit in one moving truck. All I really kept were: books, games and consoles, records and my player, tools, some useful tech stuff, camping gear, instruments, some plushies, probably like a tenth of my clothes, a couple basic furniture items, and only a box worth of small sentimental items.
I keep things that are meaningful. Things don’t have to be used to serve a purpose.
i’d honestly rip CDs and vinyls and keep them on a spare drive. host them on slsk or smth, you’'ll never know if someone might want it.
I find that taking pictures of the items gives me that “it’s nice to be reminded of that time”. Then i can get rid of the item and still keep the nostalgic reminder.
One more vote for taking pictures of the important memories - then donating them.
Books to libraries - even women’s/family shelters.
Maybe even disks to libraries.Having pictures of old stuff can help remember in case of getting old / Dementia / Alzheimer’s it is just nice to have those pics to trigger and hook inyo your memories.
You could even make a video where you put in words of your feelings - future you might thank you for it
Donate it to a library, shelter, thrift store, or similar. It gave you joy, but now it doesn’t. Let someone else have the experience.
Go through the counter argument, what would it take to keep it?
From what you’re saying, you’ll likely need to rent a storage facility for that. They’ll advertise low rates initially, but I’d expect to pay over $100 a month unless you constantly move the stuff across different storage facilities. Then, if you move out of the area, you’ll need to bring this with you.
Once you have a cost to keep it, it will be far easier to justify getting rid of it.
Personally I keep books and CD’s. I have lots from my teens and early adulthood. I like them, and I also like having a library that my kid can look through as he gets older. Clothes and furniture I’m not sentimental about though. Only keep what you’re actually going to use, sell, donate or throw away the rest.
I also digitize what I can. Then I separate what I actively use from the rest, separate those items into categories, pick out one or two (or three) of my favorites in each category, and donate the rest to a thrift store in hopes someone else can make better use of them. Still not foolproof though, on the shelf next to me is a keyboard and bin of cables that I haven’t touched in ages.
I recently had to clear out my room in my childhood home and found all the schoolwork I ever produced until I left for college. I went through it, and ended up tossing everything except school photos as well as a couple of big written assignments I still remember doing.
So I guess my advice is to just stack-rank it and only keep a few particularly sentimental items.
Go through it, keep what is truly sir use and definitely try to sell or donate what you can, especially physical media since even without a lot of monetary value those are items that typically aren’t being made any more so are of a finite number. There are those of us that like collecting physical media and have the space to store and enjoy it so helping it get a second life is a better choice than just dumping it in a landfill to rot (almost literally) forever.
Otherwise the key is to relish the nostalgia of going through it but don’t let it color your decisions on what to keep too much. It’s okay to hold on to some things that truly matter to you just for sentimental reasons, but you shouldn’t try to keep it all. My wife and I each have a plastic tote in our basement of keepsakes, we try to limit sentimental things to just that one tote each to help keep it manageable.
For me, it’s about understanding the value having it provides. It’s ok to have something for sentimental reasons, but it just having been present in your life doesn’t make it meaningful. If you keep a piece of clothing you can’t or won’t wear again, what does having it do? My dad passed and I kept one of his favorite flannel shirts because it evokes so many memories for me. But it’d have been silly for me to have kept all of his socks just because he wore them.
I would go through regularly and part with an item that held least significance. And repeat monthly till I pared it down to a small collection.
Donate books to literacy place, or drop them randomly in the little libraries (if your city supports those citizen made structures).
CDs are a dollar at the thrift store, but if you have an artists set you might get a fan on Craigslist or kijiji or marketplace that wants them.
Might be from Marie Kondo, or not, but I use a 1 year rule. Have I used this in the past year? If not I get rid of it, knowing I probably will never use it or enjoy it again, I’m happy to leave it in my memory, to stay or fade naturally. Hardest were gifts at first, by fear of offending the person that offered it, until I realised I don’t always remember what I offer others, and I wouldn’t be offended. Same for the first years of kids’ “artworks”, took pictures then trashed them
When you see something that brings back nostalgic feelings, you don’t want to get rid of it. But in the end, if you haven’t touched it in 20 years and it’s just taking up space, you’re not gonna miss it when it’s gone. Get money for it if you can, donate it, or throw it away. I never regretted getting rid of stuff I forgot I even had.
The word “worked” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
If your goal is to justify throwing things away, there are whole self help ecosystems built to help you to toss it all, from self transformation regimens to grief processing and everything in between. Find one you like and read, listen and engage about it on social media till you believe what it says then just throw all your stuff out.
You could also not do that and listen to your CDs and records, read your old books and either store your old clothes to give to your kids or use them as patch material for clothes that do fit.
It’s a question of forgetting your past or integrating it into your present.
