I think as if in duality at times. I’ve come to think of it like the subconscious or one brain half that doesn’t know words injecting impressions, solutions, wants, into my conscious other brain half.

I think I can vaguely grasp how it can be that people have voices or other personalities in their head. I do not, though if my other brain half had developed a voice I’d be fucked. But that’s just how I perceive it.

Well, I do very occasionally tell myself I’m an idiot verbally when a cringy social interaction flashback hits me again. I hate that.

In any case I can visualize memories easily, even if details are unreliable and gaps are often filled with most probable placeholders created by imagination. Similar to dreams perhaps.

I’ve wattched my mind go to different states of self perception which I find interesting and jarring. Sometimes it shows me self perception that I like, which motivates me and makes me happy about myself and confident. Sadly those shifts in perception are hard to keep alive for long, hard as I might try.

My thinking happens in words and images equally, depending on the task. While writing this the right words just come from an unknown source and what I want to say is a concept finding it’s way with these words. As if one part is showing what message I want to deliver in words while a seperate process hands out the right words checking each word if it still conveys the intended meaning.

I analysed this while writing this and now feel like there is an type if LLM setup in my head as a component.