• AusatKeyboardPremi@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    A perfect origin story of a villain.

    Jeremy then goes on a crime spree, but he was caught early on because he is a snail… with a left-coiled shell. The shell prints at the crime scenes helped narrow it down to him instantly.

    • ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org
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      23 hours ago

      Jeremy and their other two potential partners. But these two have an alibi. Seems like they had a shell of a time (⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■⁠)

    • saltesc@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      In shell
      Drawing pictures
      Of fence tops
      With him on top
      Lemon yellow sun
      Eyestalks raised in a V
      The dead lay in pools of pale blue below

      Scientists tried to give attention
      To the fact that his shell turned left
      Snail Jeremy the Wicked
      Ruled his world, but

      Jeremy didn’t get laid today
      Jeremy didn’t get laid today

      Clearly I remember
      Pickin’ on the boy
      Seemed a harmless little mollusc
      Oh, but we unleashed a hedgehog
      Gnashed his radula
      Shot darts at mantles
      How could I forget
      He hit me with a surprise bump
      My shell left hurtin’
      Oh, tipped right over
      Just like the day
      Like the day I heard

      Scientists tried to give affection
      But the boy was something the others wouldn’t mate
      Snail Jeremy the Wicked
      Ruled his world

      Jeremy didn’t get laid today
      Jeremy didn’t get laid today
      Jeremy didn’t get laid today

      Try to forget this… (try to forget this)
      Try to erase this… (try to erase this)
      From the postdoc paper

      Jeremy didn’t get laid today
      Jeremy didn’t get laid today