Yes, this is a real Am I The Asshole, not one where the answer is super obvious and the user is just looking to have their ego stroked.
My SO has BDD and genuinely thinks they look ugly naked. I think they’re 1000% incorrect and that they’re the sexiest human alive, and I would die happy if I could see them naked all the time.
I was diagnosed with a condition called Cone Rod Dystrophy which basically means I’ll lose color vision, then all vision. The timeline is anywhere from next week to 50 years from now.
I want to see them naked every chance I can get so I can cement it in my head before I go blind, but I feel gross for posing that as a reason to let me see them naked.
Like, in the 10 years we’ve been together I’ve never even asked them for a hand job if they didn’t feel up to sex because I didn’t want to seem like a callous asshole, so this would be a big ask from me.
To add in complications, they’re also on the spectrum. Not a criticism since I’m most likely on it too.
Excuses are never useful as a replacement for good communication.
Of course not, but when good communication is stifled by a field of eggshells, you do what you can.
Our communication on the subject is pretty good, but that alone doesn’t solve the issue. It’s hard to see a way to open that line of communication without them being offended
The hard part is communicating my needs without trampling on their feelings, because at a certain point the onus shifts off of me and I don’t want my SO to have that pressure
That’s right. There are better things that can be done with feelings.
Such as?
This is the point at which you should begin looking for a couples therapist