I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don’t think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.
Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they’ve never done anything in life.
It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren’t. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed “lazy” and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they’ll enjoy, but they dont do it. I’ve offered to hang out with them when im their town (we’ve been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.
I already know most replies wil be “ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO “SAVE” THEM” but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.
Edit: i knew there’d be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.
If you didn’t want help, and someone showed up and started doing stuff, saying, “Hey I’m helping,” I doubt most people would want that help. Tl;dr you can only help those that want help or those that are open to it.
I think the best thing you can do is be supportive, invite them out, and showcase the positive aspects of your life & the life you’d want them to have. It’s not showboating / gloating, but it’s including them & offering them what a wider life might look like. When they want to change, you can be present for them in that moment.
Trying to change people can be such a fool’s errand. I’ve tried to do it with a bunch of friends over the last decade. You can’t move people who don’t want to be moved. You can maybe inspire them for more.
The best you can do is help them in the endeavors they start. And also be positive.
This is good. I do try to do this in a non bragging way and hopefully they don’t take it that way. But stuff like, I went out to a park near me and there was some cool rocks to climb on, you should try it at a park by you etc. Or small projects im working on.