Long story short. Friend with history is body and mental issues (mainly depression). I moved to a different country, so we talked less. For the past two year things went very one sided. I would text her and get reply much later. Never able to meet when I was in town.
Then, nothing. No answers at all. Text or calls. Friends tell me similar story. I keep texting sporadically, sometimes calling. After months I get a response. She’s crying and saying shes sorry for not replying, that’s she’s not well in general and needs time. Problems with work, relationships, family and some tragedies all in short time.
That was months ago. Part of me thinks to give space, but another is worried because she’s avoiding our common friends too. The only way to reach to her or even know how she is would be through her family, which is very intrusive.
Any advice?
Edit: fixed “In moved to a different country” to “I moved to a different country” as somebody misunderstood due to the typo
Her moving to another country and not talking to you or your common friends doesn’t mean she’s “self isolating”. No single friend group is everyone’s life. Especially since it’s been two years since she left your country…
Going to her family would be creepy as fuck.
And honestly it feels like you have more motivations than just friendship here. And she’s been trying to let you down gently for over two years now…
Like if “reconnect” means a text, go for it. But it sounds like you want someone to tell you it’s ok to contact her fucking family that you don’t know to complain she doesn’t text back immediately.
That’s dangerously close to stalker shit, and they will always present a narrative similar to yours and use that for justification of inappropriate actions.
I’m the one who moved, not her.
Rest is also mostly an invention in your side, but not believing at face value someone somebody said on the internet is generally a good practice.
Thanks anyway.
So she still lives where all your mutual friends live…
Where her family lives…
Let them handle it.
Buddy…
You keep making “typos” that completely change the meaning of what you type or just make no sense.
Just leave the woman who clearly doesn’t want to interact with you alone.
Although I’m sure you’ll ignore every response that’s not:
You must not have many friends. I can tell because your advice is too… ignore a friend who may need help and let other people handle it. Seeing as you probably dont have a lot of expierence in this area ill give you advice, friends are supposed to care about each other even if the other person has other friends.
What?
The OP is asking if he can contact her family to ask why she doesn’t reply quickly enough…
If her family doesn’t care enough to investigate why she’s not replying to them, then they’re not going to care after OP contacts.
If they care enough that they would contact when OP asks…
Then they would have already reached out to their own daughter/sibling/whatever if she wasn’t responding to them…
Meaning the woman isn’t self-isolating, or her family is already trying to engage with her.
A friend that moved away two years ago their daughter isn’t texting back and is t meeting up when possible…
Probably just isn’t an important part of this woman’s life.
And at some point OP has to accept that, unless they’re a stalker.
Read my messages and read your message. Everything about what her family does or care is 100% made up by you. You then went with that made up facts to explain the rest.
Don’t you realize you’re just adding your own imagination into the mix?