When I was a kid, my mom either bought or was gifted a little plush snowman that would say “Happy holidays! Happy holidays!” When you squeezed it. It would maybe get squeezed a few times in December and then put in a bin until the following year. No one ever changed the batteries and it still worked each year for many years. Then it started to run out of juice. And slowly over each year it would sound more and more demonic, but it always played at least once before running out of power. It’s now been more than 25 years and we still check it each year to see if the demonic snowman is still alive. I’m not sure it will ever die if it was never alive in the first place…

That’s a whole green olive… But still.

And that’s why, as a Midwesterner, I proudly put black olives on my tacos. And it’s tastes pretty damn great!

This.

I KNOW WHOOOO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOME

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying these memes. They remind me a lot of when shittymorph would get you with the undertaker bit. Except now I’ll be looking at cool science charts that are genuinely interesting only to find someone snuck in a sneaky Saddam.

90% of my job is making finalist presentations for our sales department. The amount of times I receive the power point they put together and half the text is bold… I always think of that scene from The Incredibles. When everything is in bold… nothing is.

I’m surprised no one has mentioned the fake old movie that plays in Home Alone. “I’m gonna give you till the count of 10 to get your ugly yeller no good keester off my property before I pump your guts full of lead! One… Two… Ten!” 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Whoever has been posting these ancient memes on Lemmy lately is making me feel like a frickn’ historian. Just give me a coffin to lay in already!

LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOYYYYY JEEEEEEEENKEEEEENS

Can someone please teach whoever made this about the basics of graphic design? I can hardly read this ity-bity condensed as fuck text on top of a potato quality complicated background. Good God.

I could be wrong, but I think the original idea for the matrix was that they were using human brains for processing power and not energy. But someone in the movie making process decided people wouldn’t understand that and instead went with the battery analogy.

This is an excellent meme format. You can replace the text with all kinds of stupid shit like “I know you drank orange juice with your chocolate cake”.

The only thing I can’t stand is people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… And the Dutch!

Best: twix, 100grand, candy corn, sweet tarts

Worst: bottle caps, heath, unnamed hard candies, tootsie rolls

Holy bismuth, Batman!

We drove from Illinois to Florida and stopped at a local chain in Alabama along the way called Milo’s. It had great reviews and people said you had to get the burger with the special sauce or whatever it was called. Let me tell you that this “burger” was very reminiscent of my grade school lunches when they would serve “Salisbury steak with gravy” in the little paper containers that you had to pinch the corner to peel the film off and eat. Now while usually this would be a lesson in how terrible us school lunches are, this is more of a lesson in how bad the food in Alabama is in that the local people think that this is good enough food to pay someone real money for it.

It was honestly some no name brand and I wasn’t able to find it on their site. But I did find this fan that’s almost exactly the same: Lowes High Velocity Fan

The last apartment I had, the AC was old and would always go out a few times each summer. By the 3rd time, I went to the hardware store looking for a box fan, but they were out and only had an industrial fan that was more expensive, like $40. I bought it out of desperation. But looking back it’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made. Any time the AC went out, id whip out that metal beast and only ever put it on the first setting because the other 2 settings were way too powerful for an apartment. It’s never given me any trouble over the years and has saved us from some very hot weather. If I had known then how good this fan was, I would have gladly paid more for it. It’s currently being used in our house while we do renovations this summer and it’s working like a charm!

That’s what beans said to cornbread!!!