We’re bus drivers lol. We work four hours a day.

Heavy metal is good for you.

Eh, the Moebius stuff was great but a lot of the material just pandered to adolescent boys.

I walked into my break room at work a couple of years ago and overheard some of my female coworkers complaining about the formula shortage. I asked if they’d ever thought about breastfeeding and they looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. I get that some women here and there might need a supplement for this, but the idea that feeding babies canned formula should be the norm is completely insane.

Yeah, valerian root ain’t getting rid of your microplastics buildup.

I worked at a vitamin store chain owned by the parents of a college friend of mine (who is now worth $34 million lol - that chain has turned into a miniature Whole Foods) for a few months. I remember one customer came in because she was going through a divorce, and the cashier said “oh, you need St. John’s Wort for that”. Nobody there thought this was unusual in any way.

Also knew a guy in college who claimed to be a Breathitarian. We caught him at the Ponderosa steak house in the next town over one night.

I dunno … Rome fucked up Carthage pretty bad.

already a glaring example

Only those meaningless sideshows known as “WWI” and “WWII”.

Arian

Heresy!

That’s probably why they did it. They know trump is most likely to be shot at by one of their own nuts.

Probably copy-pasted from some other app … which is also lying about data security.

On my first day at a new job in 1998, I watched a guy get escorted out of his office and the building carrying his stuff in a cardboard box. My use of the verb “escort” is ironic because it turned out that the guy had been running a prostitution ring. He’d gotten an 800 number that redirected to his office phone number, and he kept track of everything (names and phone numbers of his clients and girls and records of every arrangement) in a spreadsheet on his work computer. He only got busted because the company upgraded everybody’s PC and had techs look through all the old PCs to make sure nothing important was going to get deleted; this dude had named his spreadsheet something like “call girls.xls” and had it on his Windows desktop.

This seemed amazing to me, but after working there a few months I realized how somebody could get that sloppy. IT Security at this place was fucking lax. None of us programmers had an identifiable boss or anything like clearly-defined responsibilities, or even rigid work hours. I remember one stretch for about a month where in a room with 50 people in it, all everybody did all day was call into the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? hotline and try to get onto the show.

My favorite thing about phone interviews was when I’d ask a question and the person would pause and I’d hear keyboard noises and whispering in the background. I was like c’mon dude, even if you get a job this way what the fuck are you going to do your first day at work if you don’t know how to do anything yourself?

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I just don’t get all this shit. I’m a programmer and for years at my last job I did most of the interviewing for candidates and had the final say-so for whether or not we hired somebody. I could tell in a 15 minute phone call whether somebody knew what they were doing or not and could make a positive contribution to the project.

Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m a big orange soda fiend and I drink Sunkist, Crush and Fanta. it does appear that only Crush has Red 40 in it. Sometimes I feel like I have to fart real bad and sometimes I don’t - maybe that’s the dye. I should really be drinking water but I find it so boring.

Just don’t start doing crowd work. That shit requires a crowd.

My niece is majoring in art in college. I never thought I would become one of those old people, but I’m like damn girl, for $70K a year you should maybe be studying something practical. And this is coming from someone whose goal in life in college was to become a comic book artist.

Theyre huge slices

That’s sort of like the old joke: “This food is terrible!” “Yes, and such unfortunately large portions!”

I had a Whopper and fries at Booger King last year for the first time in a couple of decades. With a drink it was like $20 which is pretty absurd. It actually tasted pretty good and the fries were fresh out of the fryer (which is basically what makes fries good), but I just felt so physically bad after eating. I don’t know what it was, probably the massive amount of salt in it.

I usually only drive through Pennsylvania, and as a result I always end up at Sbarro, an “Italian” restaurant that can only survive in the cloister of a turnpike travel plaza. Somehow my brain forgets how fucking awful it was last time. Plus I always order something you can’t eat while driving, like pasta, so I have to sit there and finish it. The only good thing is having a bathroom right there.