Ralphie

and Verne

and Neville

Perhaps you could get AMD to pay you $35 billion for the hypothetical potential of amusement later on.

We don’t boil our pancakes.

Madison Cawthorn? The gun-toting sex-pest who got caught driving without a license Madison Cawthorn?!

That is not dead which can eternal lie.

I’ll absolutely grant that hammering is a skill that can be improved upon and that a skilled hammerer is quite the thing to behold. I think of the times I’ve seen experienced blacksmiths banging away for hours with forearms that look like Popeye’s, barely breaking a sweat. So yes, there’s a skill tree to be developed.

That said… a lot of people seem to have an idea that using tools, or even more broadly the inherent strength of their own bodies, is somehow beyond their ability, and a lot of the time that’s just beginners’ jitters. Absent of a particular physical limitation, most people probably can learn how to effectively use a hammer (or a hand saw, or a screw gun, or a crow bar, or any number of useful items) within a couple minutes. It’s our collective mistake for teaching people that they haven’t got ready access to those skills and strengths.

Growing a moustache is pure genetic luck, and you can learn how to swing a hammer in about thirty seconds.

My grandmother’s will said “you can donate my body to the university, and if they don’t need it then I hear the state police can use it to train dogs to find corpses, and that’s good too.”

The woke agenda has been telling us that grinding bones to make bread is wrong, but there is a proud historical tradition of grinding the bones of children, and many people have been saying that eating bread made from ground up child bones has many nutritional benefits! In fact, there is a direct correlation between not grinding bones for bread, and decreasing IQs and male testosterone levels! In this video essay I will explore…

The rare reverse-Saddam.

Counterpoint: Galaxy Quest.

Oh my god, I wonder if the cow pooped in there during the shoot. I’ve seen cows poop for what seemed like a minute straight.

Why would I?

Good ad campaign, too.

Unihertz Jelly Star! I bought one solely to use as an mp3 player, but I got very close to it becoming my regular full-time phone.

The Plants that Would Not Die

Great, who’s going to go tell Richard Feynman?

Watch the original Gone in 60 Seconds, from 1974. The car stunts are absolutely insane, to the extent that they probably shouldn’t have been allowed to make the movie the way they did, but it happened and I’m glad that cameras were rolling. The Nic Cage remake was trying to make a movie safer, slicker, and more coherently, but there’s no replacement for a bunch of insane stunt drivers risking their lives and the lives of everyone around them.

But then I start to feel like

this guy, with the “real” camera and the phone camera, but the phone camera is the one I’ve most consistently got on me, because I can’t lug a whole additional piece of hardware around in a camera bag, meanwhile the phone camera pictures are grainy and shitty, and I’d just as soon have a Pixel in my pocket at all times that can take fairly good pictures at all times.