the amount of bigoted dipshits confident that they’re going through the pearly gates has me half convinced they’re right and half convinced that i’m not missing out on a whole lot

1984 or something idk i dont read

your nan reaches for a hug as the monkey’s paw curls all but one finger: the middle

im on it

my dog doesn’t piss and shit in toilets 🤠

when she calls me imperator 😍

windows is now opened source

no, obviously not

but what is love?

🥺

how can people know if you’re bluffing if you don’t even know if you’re bluffing?

🤠

confirm that ‘bongo obliterator’ mia will be allowed to ‘play [client] like bongos’: y/n

i’m giving you a 90 degree tip

you mean a 90 percent tip right?

…

❒ B ❒ V ❒

i bet your butt has a crack in it

everyone needs a tool that in their arsenal

it feels nice when the closet gets a little bigger, if just for a moment 🥹

another, less violent way of phrasing your frustrations: my cognitive ability has just been bonked in the kneecaps and robbed of 10 BQ