Knock knock

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who?

You’re making a good owl!

My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.

People who don’t return their cart to the cart corral in the grocery store parking lot

Feeling your butt cheeks on the toilet seat just before you lose the battle to hold everything in.

• in my jurisdiction, you have to meet certain criteria to be eligible for a mail in ballot, they don’t just get handed out willy nilly
• i don’t trust the post office with anything vitally important, like a ballot or money
• the early voting place is pretty close to my work, close enough that i hit it up a week and change ago on my lunch break

It’s a tongue in cheek way of referring to neurodivergence. The same way that someone might refer to neurotypical as neurobland.

Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy

I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.

This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”

Apology was for people offended by an aquarium using teen slang to connect with today’s youth.

Nandor the Relentless agrees with you

Isn’t he the chomo that worked at Nickleodeon?

This looks like a table read for a Game of Thrones episode. I’m curious about which one it is.

I stuck my dick in crazy.

Life pro tip: don’t stick your dick in crazy. Just avoid crazy altogether.

In my defense, I was 20, she was the first person I ever had sex with, and I was too horribly depressed to recognize what a bad idea it was.

The Wire

The Sopranos

Deadwood

Justified

Bosch

If you’re open to comedic stuff:

What We Do In The Shadows

Resident Alien

Miracle Workers

Don’t rawdog a rando

Wearing a rubber every time unless you’re in a committed relationship greatly reduces your chances of an STD or an unwanted pregnancy.

Cheese pizza is probably one way to get yourself banned (at a minimum)

For me, it’s 1a & 1b between Whataburger & In-N-Out. I think if I’d grown up on the west coast instead of where I did, I’d probably prefer In-N-Out. Only other fast food burger that comes close (for me) is Sonic.

I’m partial to Whataburger, but In-N-Out has a similarly loyal fanbase.

Was not expecting the middle school nostalgia feels from 4 non blondes

In my defense, I’m half asleep, and due to lack of caffeine, didn’t notice the bit about “which could actually happen in the next 5 years.”

So with that in mind, I’ll say something about environmentally friendly raw materials for super efficient battery storage.

Star Trek-style matter replicator/recycler. Just imagine being able to empty a garbage dumpster into a bin, shut the lid, press a button, and an hour later you get stacks of industrially useful metals & materials, bolts of cloth, and sacks of fertilizer.