I lost a relative recently and I’ve been struggling with the grieving aspect. I haven’t cried or gotten visceral anger. I’m mostly just generally unpleasant right now. Impatient, easily annoyed and lack energy. Part of it is the cognitive dissonance associated. The individual was complicated, more good in the world overall, but, undeniably a lot of bad too.

  • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
    102·
    18 hours ago

    There are no negative emotions, only emotions that aren’t fun or popular. Every emotion is there for a reason.

    • Grief is there so you can make peace with the person, realize you’re not going to be here forever either and appreciate people that are still living. And more+
    • Guilt is there so you don’t do that shit again. Not a fan of religions telling you were born with it and you can only be saved by their religion, because that’s abusive.
    • Joy is there to do more of that stuff
    • And so on
    • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.caEnglish
      1·
      17 hours ago

      That helps contextualize negative emotions, but it’s still totally fair to describe “emotions that aren’t fun” as negative emotions. And there certainly are emotions based in pathology and even pathological forms of grief.

      • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        17 hours ago

        Does it help you to think that way?

        Say your friend has a video game you want. If you fight being jealous of them because it’s a “negative emotion,” then you’re just going to be resentful. Instead, if you consider it being a clue that you really want that video game and work towards it, you can then be happy that the person has that video game and your brain will work on it to get you it. It uncomplicates things.

        • derek@infosec.pub
          2·
          14 hours ago

          This can be true and the example you’ve provided demonstrates the point well enough. There are certainly unhelpful emotions though. I have a panic disorder which can be triggered by a few things. I’m already aware of why this happens and understand that my fear, paranoia, and sense of impending doom are byproducts of chemical imbalance. I know they’re trying to help me survive an expected threat that doesn’t exist. Those experiences offer no actionable insight. Only disruption.

          It helps if I’m able to recognize that emotional reactivity as bad and worth breathing through instead of addressing or intellectualizing. They’re just bad and need to pass so I can get back to being me.

          This is an edge case and most emotional processing is trying to tell us something helpful. Not always though!

          • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
            2·
            14 hours ago

            Oh for sure. It sounds like you have a great way to let them pass by. That’s the intention behind what I’m saying that works for most people, but not all, as you said.