I lost a relative recently and I’ve been struggling with the grieving aspect. I haven’t cried or gotten visceral anger. I’m mostly just generally unpleasant right now. Impatient, easily annoyed and lack energy. Part of it is the cognitive dissonance associated. The individual was complicated, more good in the world overall, but, undeniably a lot of bad too.
I had both grandparents, my stepfather, and my cat all die within a year and a half, then got fired because my performance started slipping.
I can’t spend thousands of dollars to grieve, I have to suck it up and be a better robot. There is no other option for me.
I’m very sorry to hear that. The ritual was a couple hundred bucks for a weekend and they accepted less for financial hardship. I hope you can get some support.