I see a lot of commentary, especially on Lemmy and Reddit, about how awful children are and how wonderful adulthood without kids is. And if you don’t want them, more power to you.
On the other hand, many people are parents and love having children! I want to hear some of the positive stories. What about being a parent makes your life better? What’s your favorite thing about your kids?
Studies have down that people with adult children tend to be happier than older, childless people. Unless you’re a total piece of shit, children give you social contact after all your friends are dead and gone.
My three kids are adult and living on their own.
My wife mentioned that she’d like to see them for her birthday. I texted them and they are all coming to visit the day before.
They still care about us, even though I am a piece of shit. Just not total I guess. Or maybe they tolerate me for their mom.
Could also be the free food, but whatever, I’ll take it.
I’ll add that raising kids is a strange experience. The things that are easy to quantify tend to be bad. Those are the things that you can describe easily in a way that someone without kids can understand.
The good things about raising kids are mostly just feelings. They are harder to explain, and they don’t tend to make his stories.
On the one hand, you’re paying a $500 insurance deductible because your kid misjudged the distance to a bollard during a driving lesson. On the other hand, you’re hanging out watching a movie together that you watched as a kid.
It’s hard to explain how hanging out outweighs the cost of the repairs to someone who doesn’t have kids. It’s even harder to explain that the comparison isn’t even close.
I think this is probably why my mom really want to control me all the time… she’s afraid she’ll lose me and be alone…
like… mom wtf… I’d like you a lot more if uou gave me a bit of room to breathe…
Mom is keep pushing the idea of marriage to my older brother (who’s 28) because she’s afraid he’ll be (and I quote) “be alone for the rest of his life”… for context my dad got married at 31.
As a young adult… speaking from the kid’s perspective… there’s like this sort of feeling that is so… hard to explain… this connection…
My mother is/was very emotionally abusive by western standards, but still… I have this weird attachment to her… separation anxiety… or trauma bonding? idk…