• Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 hours ago

      It’s the first one, I promise. The second one is just the excuse you give yourself. It’s a choice you’re making to be bitter and unlikable, as much as you want to pretend it’s not.

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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        4 hours ago

        Okay, then I’ll go back in time and tell my five-year-old self that it’s actually my fault that I’m being picked on, that I’m just genuinely unlikeable and need to stop being bitter.

        Maybe then I’ll earn my dad’s approval, and everyone who’s taken advantage of me, bullied me, or treated me like a pushover ever since will magically respect me.

        • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 hours ago

          You’re an adult, and you don’t change it by telling your child self that, you change it by having some fucking self respect and not blaming every person who has mistreated you for why you should never trust or be kind to anyone else ever. Your own inability to accept your own lack of boundaries when it comes to being taken advantage of or treated like a pushover is evidence of that. I’ve been hurt too, but I also see when I made mistakes, didn’t set clear boundaries, and how that impacted the situations a great deal. I have also seen when my own bad attitude has led people to dislike me, and so I dropped the bad attitude, because it hurt me more than helped me, and honestly, I’m much happier for it. You really ought to try it sometime.

          • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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            3 hours ago

            So if I have weak boundaries and let people take advantage of me, then it’s my fault and I can’t blame others?

            But when a woman has weak boundaries and gets taken advantage of, it’s not her fault and she can blame men as a whole and take it out on men who had nothing to do with it?

            Do you not see the double-standard here? Doesn’t that reinforce gender stereotypes where “Men just need to take it on the chin, be a man, be tough. You’re responsible for your own destiny. Not women though, they’re subject to conditions and don’t have any agency or control over their lives.”?

            Whenever I point this out, people get upset. As if I’m the one advocating for the stereotype. I’m not. I’m pointing out how it endures in the common mentality that we’re discussing here.

            • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              3 hours ago

              That’s odd because out here in the real world people absolutely let women know that it’s their own lack of boundaries that led to being taken advantage of, and nobody gets upset because no one is being a petulant ill tempered dick about it when they do so. You are literally living in a fantasy land you’ve built for yourself so you don’t have to face your own shitty attitude being part of this.

              • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                2 hours ago

                You are literally living in a fantasy land you’ve built for yourself

                How exactly do you expect me to be in touch with consensus reality when I’ve been excluded from it and isolated for most of my life?

                • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  2 hours ago

                  I don’t know man, I was excluded from it for a long time and I made myself a better person and then had a happier life. You seem pretty dedicated to being an angry bitter asshole who blames everything on everyone but yourself, so like I said, you do you. Go ahead and be a fucking asshole who no one likes. I did my bit, walk away and stop being an annoying loser, please and thank you.

                  You got what you wanted, I’m sick of your loser shit, so piss off please. I don’t need to hear it anymore, because you’ll just use this as justification for why you’re a fucking angry shitty loser instead of having an ounce of self reflection over anything you’ve said here in this giant fuck off thread of you being a whiny little bitch. Good, I hope you feel justified and I hope you stay the sad sack loser you are, because if you’re really this much of a twerp who can’t listen to positive re-enforcement you probably deserve it.

                  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                    2 hours ago

                    Wow, and to think I almost thought you were a decent person. Okay, whatever. Think I don’t have thick skin from a lifetime of being treated like that? I’ve learned to laugh when I’m insulted, because otherwise I’d never laugh.

                    If you’re that upset about it, you don’t have to respond. Geeze, and you say I blame others for my bitterness. Whatever, dude.