Why the hell do we call it “coconut water” like it’s some holy, saint-blessed hydration straight from God’s urethra? It’s juice. It comes out of a fucking fruit. If it squirted out of an orange we wouldn’t sit there pretending it’s “orange water.” But no, slap “water” on the label. It’s not magical glacier piss. It’s coconut juice. Stop jerking off the branding like it’s some enlightened nectar for smug wellness cultists.
“Just poking a hole” is easier said than done, it’s a very difficult thing to get through. A cordless drill would do it, or a brace, a hand drill. But good luck with a pocket knife or something in the field trying to get in one. You could smash it and get a fraction of the water as it spills out.