Hi, please be kind with me. I’m feeling really vulnerable and conflicted about this. I would really appreciate any help or comfort.

I had a bit too much to drink and had unprotected sex with a guy who was sober and came on my back, but it also got on the bed. I was too out of it to remember the exact timing but he said there’s no need to take plan B. I’m not on any birth control.

I’ve taken plan B twice before and read stories of how awful it is. I did feel very depressed and overwhelmed in the weeks after taking it, but that could also be explained by stressors that I was dealing with at the time. I’m worried about the side effects, especially considering this would be my third time taking it.

Should I take plan B? Can anyone who has taken it multiple times please share about the side effects and their experiences with it? Is the pull-out method less risky than I’m thinking it is, or is this not worth the gamble even if I didn’t need Plan B? A pregnancy would be a huge disruption, and I don’t even want to imagine it.

I’m also just feeling so lost, disoriented, and sad. I don’t do well with casual intimacy, yet I find myself getting into these situations. What should I be doing differently? Is it just a matter of drinking less or is there something more underlying that I need to process? I’ve noticed an increase in unprotected sex recently which makes me feel even worse about it all.

  • Scipitie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    1482·
    21 hours ago

    To support what others have said: even precum can get you pregnant.

    It’s not that “pull out is a tad unreliable” - it is horrible and the failure quota is ridiculously high. And that’s only pregnancy, not even considering the whole disease fun you’re signing up for. With a bit of bad luck that’s a lifetime of annoying medication, no a few weeks.

    This means from my point of fire in order of urgency:

    A) First of all: stranger, feel loved 🤗 I find it awesome that you have he courage to ask this question!

    B) get plan B. It’ll suck if you’re reacting but that’s only a week or two.

    C) Review your sexual habits: if you’re into spontaneous drunk sex figure out a reliable protection that you don’t have to think too much about. If it’s with strangers there’s no way around a condom in addition if you don’t want to take something for your hepathitis or HIV for the rest of your life. If it’s people you know and trust then something “just” against pregnancy is enough. If it’s a mix of both I suggest getting a baseline protection that you don’t have to think about in the heat of the moment and condoms as preventative plan B for the cases where you’re not too sure.

    It sounds like a cliche but it’s true: The more the dude resists protection the more you’ll need it. After all it will be you who’ll be alone with the consequences. You’re worth more than a few fun moments for some dick!

    • village604@adultswim.fanEnglish
      21·
      21 hours ago

      Also, semen doesn’t have to be deposited inside the vagina in order to get a woman pregnant. It’s rare, but possible for semen on the labia to allow enough sperm to swim through to fertilize an egg.

    • ruuster13@lemmy.zip
      9·
      20 hours ago

      There’s also PrEP, PEP, and DoxyPEP for HIV prevention and other STIs. These harm-reduction options help people reduce internalized stigma for sexual habits which, counter to what your conservative aunt will tell you, will help steer you toward safer habits over time. It’s a great time to be alive and sexually active! The days of regretting a poor sexual decision for weeks, months, or years is over.

      • Scipitie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        5·
        20 hours ago

        I’m too disconnected to be knowledgeable enough to recommend or discourage alternatives, just want to note that one has to educate themselves on what is right - your key words will help with that for sure! For example: Just from looking up DoxyPEP: That’s an antibiotic based product and would be useless against HIV. But might be good at reducing the risk of syphilis and other nasty bacterial bullshit.

        The other thing where I absolutely agree with you is the issue of the stigma: It must not be a taboo to enjoy oneself, explore own sexuality and be self confident into oneself as a full, human being with whatever sexuality floats ones boat.

        That’s why I’m so happy about OP asking even though it’s a shitty situation: I’m sure jt will help some passive reader to realize something about their own sexuality and that’s an awesome thing!

        In short: Thank you :)

        Edit: sorry for the reply spam I got an error message about posting but it seemed to got through anyway.